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Jokes >> Businessman


No matter how busy a guy is, he can always
take out a moment from his busy life to just
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stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
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पतियों के 500 बहाने!
एक सेल्समैन घर-घर जाकर किताबें बेचने का काम करता था उसने एक घर की डोरबेल बजाई तो एक महिला ने दरवाजा खोला।

सेल्समैन: मैडम मेरे पास एक किताब है, जिसमें पतियों के रात देर तक बाहर रहने के 500 बहाने बताये गए है, क्या आप इसे खरीदना चाहेंगी?

महिला: आप को क्या लगता है कि मैं इस किताब को क्यों खरीदूं?

सेल्समैन: क्योंकि आज सुबह ही मैंने इस किताब कि एक प्रति आपके पति को बेचीं है।
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Breaking News:
Ek Bacche Ne Idea Cellular Ki
Advertisement Dekh Kar
Apne Parents Ka Mobile
Inter-change Kar Diya.
Next Week They Got Divorced... .
Now New Punch Line :-
Idea Can Not Only
Change Your Life It Also
Help You To Change Your Wife.
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Customer to clerk: agar main aaj chq deposit karta hoon, toh kitne din mein clear hoga?
Clerk: sir 3 din toh lahenge
Customer: dono bank aamne saamne hee hai. Phir itne din kyun lagenge?
Clerk: sir PROCEDURE to FOLLOW karna padta hai . Socho agar aap Shamshaan ke bahar mar jaate hai toh aapko ghar leke jayenge ya wahin jala denge?
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Bimar pati se uski biwi boli - Iss bar koi jaanwaro k doctor ko dikhao tou hi aap theek hoge...

Pati - Woh kyon ?
Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah jaldi uth jate ho... Ghode ki tarah bhag ke kaam pe jate ho...
Gadhe ki tarah dinbhar kaam karte ho...
Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se paise batorkar cheq pass karate. ho...
Ghar aakar pariwar per kutte ki tarah chillate ho, aur fir. Bhains ki tarah so jate ho; Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya khakh thik kar payega..!!
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एक फैक्ट्री में उसके मालिक ने अपने कर्मचारियों को प्रेरणा देने के लिए दीवारों पर जगह-जगह कल करे सो आज कर, आज करे सो अब लिखवा दिया.

एक हफ्ते बाद जब उसने मैनेजर से इस प्रेरक वाक्य के असर के बारे में पूछा तो मैनेजर ने बताया बहुत असर हुआ है सर. एकाउन्टेंट 5 लाख रुपये लेकर भाग गया है, जूनियर मैनेजर महिला सेक्रेटरी को लेकर चम्पत हो गया है, तीन क्लर्क वेतन बढ़ाने की मांग कर रहे हैं, मजदूर हड़ताल पर चले गए हैं और चपरासियों ने दूसरी नौकरी तलाश कर ली है
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Airhostess- Sir, Kya Lenge?
Pandit- Puri Sabzi, Khir aur Laddu.
Airhostess- Sir Aap Kingfisher ke Plane Me Aaye Hai, Vijay Mallya Ke Shraadh m nahi
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Rich man: Aaj mere pas 14 cars, 18 bikes, 4 bunglow,3 farmhouse hai, TUMARE ps kya hai,
POOR man- Mere pas Beta hai,
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Jiski GF
teri beti Hai.
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Baby's Delivery according to Corporate World



1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.


2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.


3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.


4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.


5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.


6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.


7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.


8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.


And lastly...


9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
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BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
Following his unrelenting devotion and service towards the cause of his religion, Ujaagar was appointed the granthi (priest) of a neighbourhood gurudwara.
It was a holiday and a long queue had formed at thepetrol station. When at last it was Ujaagar's turn, the attendent apologiesed for the long delay: 'They all knew they were goingto make this trip, yet they all waited until the last minute to get ready!'
Ujaagar smiled ruefully. 'I know what you mean,' he said. 'It's like that in my business, too!'
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