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|Jokes >> Husband Wife
A child asked his father, "How were people born?
" So his father said,"Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became
adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question
and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…
A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out.
Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse!!!
Recent research tells husbands to treat
Wife like electricity
If handled with care,
she will light up your life.
But if mishandled,
may give shocks through out your life
Marriage is a WORKSHOP ...
Wife Shops ...
Wife : I am not talking to you.
Husband : Okay.
Wife : Don't you want to know the reason.
Husband : No, I respect & trust your decision!
Husband is busy with computer while Wife was in Romantic Mood
Wife: I love you ...
Husband: hmmm, Say something if you have anything new !
Wife: I am going to be a Mother !!!
Husband: Good, anything else new !!!
Wife (Irritated)) : And, you are NOT father of this baby.
Husband : I'm not getting sleep
Wife: Let go and then clean dishes
This is Speaking of sleep ... silly
Ramesh :::::::: sir! ---- My wife is missing !!!
This is the post office, not the police station ::::
Ramesh :::::::: Oh Sorry!
- Fuckin 'do not understand where to go in this killing spree
Love your husband
when he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen your non stop talks.....
if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.
if he criticise your cooking ...
he is still improving his taste.....:
if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you
if he forgets to give you a gift on your birthday
he is saving money for your future.
Love him ...
Because you don't have a choice and
killing is a legal offence
Fwd to all wives so they continue to love their husbands
Wife wanted to go to her Her parents house...
Husband booked her tickets via Malaysian airlines...
...One time investment.
Newly married husband
puts a notice in front of his residence:
FOR SALER "Computer and Encyclopedia" both in good condition.
Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows EVERYTHING
...with backup server called "Mother In Law "
Ek wife ki bade shaher me
interview ke baad
naukari lag gai,
usne socha 'apne pati ko SMS
taaki unhe chinta na ho, .
Par Usne Galati se galat no. Par
Jisko ye MSG mila wo apni patni
ka antim sanskaar
kar ke laut raha thaa,
SMS padh te hi wo behosh ho
MSG kuch is tarah ka thaa
.'mai sahi salamat pahuch gai hu,
bi achhi suvidhaa hai,
aap chinta mat karna 1 - 2 din
me aap ko bi bula lungi...'
Man comes to sleep after watching WorldCupFinal; at 3:30 am.
Wife - koun jeeta.?
Husband - Germany.
Wife - mujhe to pehle hi pata tha..India nahi jeetegi !!
Football 2014 Jokes
Hubby-Jab main tumhe marta hu tb tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho?
Wife-Toilet saf krke
W-Me toilet apki toothbrush se saf krti hu
Wife - Meri age 58 saal hote huve bhi aapka ek dost mere husn ki taarif karta hai....
Pati ... Usmaanbahi Hoga
Wife - Aapne Kaise Pahchana!!!
Pati - Wo Scrap Dealer hai....
Wife: Meri sharafat dekho...
Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli...
Husband: Aur meri sharafat dekho...
Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya..
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence) - Daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha..
Yesterday night in an argument with my wife she said
Look you Coward , do u remember first time you came to my residence with 200 +people and I went alone with you
And myself as usual SPEECHLESS
One who loves us with closed eye known as - "Lover"
One who loves us upto close the eye known as - "Mother" and
One who loves with shows Eyes is known as - "Wife"
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