Husband Wife jokes Wishes And Messages, Husband Wife jokes WhatsApp Picture Sticker

हमारी नई सुन्दर सी पड़ोसन हमारे घर आई

कल शाम मैं और मेरी पत्नी बैठक में बैठे थे, 

तभी हमारी नई सुन्दर सी पड़ोसन हमारे घर आई। ° 

पत्नी ने हमारा परिचय दिया तो वो अवाक् सी बोली...अरे...ये...ये आपके पति हैं। 

° पत्नी बोली - क्यों क्या हुआ?

 ° पड़ोसन - नहीं कुछ नहीं। ° 

पत्नी बोली - अरे हुआ क्या, बताओ ना? 

° पड़ोसन शर्माते हुऐ बोली - बडे ही हैंडसम हैं। 





° अब आप ही बताओ 









इसमें रात को भूखा रखने की क्या बात हुई... 🙄🙄 😝😝😝😜😛😛


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लड़की - " माँ मुझे शादी नही करनी,
मैं independent हूँ, 
खुद कमाती हूं।
पर सब लोग दबाव बना रहे है , आप ही बताओ मै क्या करूं..?"  

माँ -  " मानती हूं तुम जिंदगी की हर जंग अकेले लड़ने में सक्षम हो।
अपने भविष्य मे बहुत सी सफलताए हासिल करोगी...
मगर मुमकिन है तुमसे भी कुछ गलतियां होगी...

उस समय दोष किसे दोगी ।बोलो ...? 
 

पति  के महत्व को समझो बेटी...
पति के महत्व को समझो...

😝🤣🤣🤣Read Details

How could you marry

American Man, "How could you marry a woman before knowing her?"

Indian Man, "How could you marry a woman after knowing her?"

Uniqueidea.netRead Details

रेस्टोरेंट या गार्डन

जब भी किसी रेस्टोरेंट या गार्डन में जाता हूँ और कपल्स को
बैठे हँसते हुए देखता हूँ ••
कसम से एक ही बात मन में आती है, एक दिन रोयेंगे सब के सब।Read Details

Wife is very clever

Wife is very clever. 
She'll lay her head on your chest and ask - 
"Honey, have you ever cheated on me?"
And the wait for your heart to beat fast.
Dear Innocent Husbands, 
Be careful and please adjust your heart beats accordingly!

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Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types 
"Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!



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एक सुंदर औरत
क्रिकेट का मैच देख रही थी

और चेहरे पर इंडिया
 के झंडे का नक्शा था,

एक बजुर्ग पास आया
और उसके चेहरे को चूम
 कर बोला

कितना सुंदर है मेरा
 भारत l



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😅😅😅लंदन की युनिवर्सिटी में एक क्लास चल रही थी। 
प्रोफेसर ने पूछा- अच्छा बताओ दुनिया में सबसे नीच, हरामी, दोगला, बदतमीज मुल्क कौन सा है ?

एक पाकिस्तानी धीरे से खड़ा हुआ और चिल्ला कर बोला-

...सालों! भून के रख दूँगा अगर किसी ने भी पाकिस्तान का नाम लिया तो...!🙊🙊🙊🙊Read Details

There is no such month!!

संता: सर जी, आप
अपनी पत्नी को पार्टी में
क्यों नहीं लाते?

बॉस: वो गाँव की है!

संता: माफ़ करना, मुझे
लगा वो सिर्फ आपकी है!””


----------------------- RajB2b.com -------------


1st man. : Which is the best month to get married?

2nd man : Octembruary

1st man : Don't be silly. There is no such month!!

2nd man : Exactly!! 😜😂p


----------------------- RajB2b.com -------------
"The radius of Wi-Fi is Limited

But the

The radius of Wife~Eye is  Unlimited"

Have a safe Navaratri...⭐


----------------------- RajB2b.com -------------

दीवार पर लिखा था "यहां कुत्ते
सुसु करते हैं!"

 संता ने वहां सुसु किया और
फिर हंस कर बोला:


     इसे कहते हैं दिमाग सुसु
मैंने किया और नाम कुत्ते का आएगा.Read Details

बीवी के मेकअप का खर्चा

पप्पू: मैं तो दुविधा में फँस गया हूँ.
चिरकुट : वो कैसे?






पप्पू : साला बीवी के मेकअप का खर्चा बर्दाश्त नहीं होता और मेकअप के बिना बीवी बर्दाश्त नहीं होती....

--------------------- Rajb2b.com --------------------- 
गर्मियां है आप पंखे की हवा में बैड पर लेटे आराम से TV देख रहे है ।
पत्नी जी आती हैं और पंखा बन्द कर देती हैं हाथ में झाडु है ।

सर्दियां है पंखा बंद है आप बैड पर लेटकर आराम से TV देख रहे है ।
पत्नी जी आती है पंखा चला देती हैं हाथ में पोछा हैं।

है हिम्मत किसी में ये गुंडा गर्दी रोकने की😜😜😜😜

--------------------- Rajb2b.com --------------------- 
मेरे वाई फाई ने अचानक काम करना बंद कर दिया.
... तब मुझे अहसास हुआ कि
 मेरा पड़ौसी कितना लापरवाह इंसान है जो
 वक्त पर बिल तक नहीं भरता.

--------------------- Rajb2b.com --------------------- 
आज का हिंदी ज्ञान :
Air Hostess = हवाई सुंदरी
Nurse = दवाई सुंदरी😊
और Lady Teacher = पढ़ाई सुँदरी
और Maid =  सफ़ाई सुँदरी 
And wife - Ladaai sundri 😀😀😀😀😀😀


--------------------- Rajb2b.com --------------------- 
पत्नी जी ने बड़े प्यार से कहा कि आइये आपके सर पर तेल लगा देती हूं । 

हमारी तो बांछे खिल गई और खुशी ख़ुशी बैठ गए । 

हद तो तब हो गयी जब वो सर पर तेल डालकर चली गयी और दूसरे काम में लग गयी 

हमने पूछा कि "ये क्या है ? जल्दी से आओ न , तेल टपक रहा है "

पत्नी जी का सनसनाता जवाब सुनकर पति बेहोश है :-
आज शनिवार है, पंडित जी ने बताया है कि शादी के दिन से ही तुम पर शनि चढ़ा हुआ है ! अपने प्रिय देवता पर तेल चढ़ाओ । अब तुम्हीं मेरे मंदिर , तुम्ही मेरी पूजा , तुम्हीं देवता हो ,....... वाला गाना याद आ गया ?? बस !!!! चढ़ा दिया !!!

( अच्छा हुआ , नारियल फोड़ने का नहीं बोला ?? हा हा हा )😄😄😄Read Details

Innocent husband with remarkable IQ

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! 😂💕😂


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started....

*************************


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started....

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So, I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started....

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My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'

And then the fight started....

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."

So I took her to my parents house.

And then the fight started....

*******Uniqueidea.net*****



Dedicated to all married couples.. But don't send to all

I sent to my friend. He sent to his wife and then the fight started.

😝😝😝Read Details

trust & your bones

A status by a Wife....

I trust you... But remember.. My trust & your bones will break simultaneously....

Good day ...Read Details

Grant my husband travelling mercies

Husband tells wife that he is going for a 3 day  church conference . 
Wife packs his bag , prepare break fast for him and says " Darling , let's pray together  before you leave " 
Husband " yes " 
 .
Wife prays loudly " oh lord ! Grant my husband travelling mercies " 
Husband " Amen !" 

Wife " oh lord ! Let my husbands mind not waver  Let him become impotent , if he commits adultery "
Husband silent 😷

Wife " oh lord ! If he commit any  adulterous act , let him not come home alive " 
Husband silent now starts sweating .
Wife" oh lord !  If he cheats his wife,kill him...

Husband   " oh shut up ! I am no longer going ! . The holy spirit just told me that the meeting has been cancelled " 

" POWER OF A PRAYING WOMAN " 
😂😂😂😂Read Details

Wife checks husbands mobile

Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order 

New bird
Neighbour bird
Old bird
Upstair bird
Hospital bird
Insurance bird
College bird
Super market bird

Finally she checks her name. and it was saved as 

Angry bird"

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Who are MEN?
.
Woh jo Narak mein bhi mile toh kahe.. "Abe !! Yamraj ki wife dekhi ?? Aag hai Aag "!!
😆😋😋😋

Who are Women ??
.
Woh jo swarg mein bhi mile, to kahe

"Apsara Dekhi..
No Dressing sense at All"..Read Details

Can you tell a story

Son : Mom I am not feeling sleepy.  Can you tell a story.. 
Mom: Dear even I am not feeling sleepy.  
Your father has not yet come home.  When he comes,  
will ask him why he is late ..
Then see how many stories he tells ..Read Details

मैं कैसी लग रही हूँ जी

एक पापी आदमी मरने के बाद नर्क में गया...

 कुछ सालों बाद उसके गांव के ही पंडितजी उसे नर्क में मिल गये....

उस पापी आदमी को बड़ा आश्चर्य हुअा कि, 'सारा गांव जिन पंडितजी की शराफत, इंसानियत की कसमें खाता था, उन्हें तो स्वर्ग में जाना चाहिये था' 
उसने हैरान होकर पंडितजी से पूछ ही लिया- 
" पंडितजी ! आप यहाँ कैसे ???

 " पंडितजी-" पंडिताईन के कारण .....!

 " पापी- " मतलब ??

 पंडितजी- " मैंने मेरी पूरी जिंदगी में कभी झूठ नहीं बोला, 
बस बीबी से ही बोलता था...
" पापी"-  मैं कुछ समझा नहीं...

 " पंडितजी- " वो रोज सुबह तैयार होकर मुझसे पूछती-

मैं कैसी लग रही हूँ जी ??? "
.
.
.
.
😝😝😝
😱😱😱


ज्यादा हँसो मत . .
हम सब भी नर्क में ही जानेवाले हैं ...Read Details

Doctor says to his wife

1 night, a Doctor says to his Wife: U r not good in BED.
Wife walks out.
Doctor feels sorry & asks her-
Where r u going?
Wife: To Get a 2nd OPINION..Read Details

sardi-sardi ruk ja

Wife : Mujhey divorce chaahiye.
.
.
.
.
Husband : Dekh le sardi-sardi ruk ja!

------------------ rajb2b.com ---------------------


बीवी बाथरूम से नहाकर निकली तो उसका पति उसे घूर रहा था...


बीवी (रोमांटिक मूड में) : इरादा क्या है जनाब ???


पति ने दो थप्पड़ खिंच के मारे और बोला "मेरे गरम पानी से क्यूँ नहाईं"Read Details

photo upload on rajb2b

A husband in a book store : ”Do You have a book called, ‘Husband--the BOSS of the House’..?”

Sales Girl: “Sir, Comics are on the 1st floor....
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कल तेरी वाइफ क्यों जोर जोर से चिल्लाई क्यों थी। 
मेरे घर तक आवाज आई थी।
☺
अरे कुछ नहीं यार उसका फ़ोटो FACEBOOK पे अपलोड करने की जगह rajb2b classified पर अपलोड हो गया इसीलिए।Read Details

Call Ambulance

Hubby: Call Ambulance! I'm having a heart attack
Wife: Okay! Give me your mobile password
Hubby: Its okay, I'm goodRead Details

Difference between Girlfriend and Wife

Question: WIFE aur GIRLFRIEND mai kya difference hota hai  ?

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.
.
.
.
Best Answer Is :
Karib Karib

25 Kg Ka
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Breaking News: Warning to all husbands, service tax goes up to 14%. This will make beauty parlours And eating outside more expensive...so keep reminding your wives that they are naturally beautiful.
Also encourage them that they cook awesome foodRead Details

You just say..... Wife

This one is for all you married bugs!!!
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After massive demand from all husbands.......... 
A new app called.  "Darr"   is launched in iphone 7....
You just say..... 'Wife'.. 
and it immediately closes all websites,
hides all chats,
shuts down all games,
hide all special folders and deletes chat history!
and best above all,
it puts your wife's photograph as a wallpaper. 
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This is called... Check n mate...�� 

Killer one: Someone asked an old man "Even aftr 70yrs, You still cal you wife...

...Darling ... jaan ... janu...., sweety..., baby...., Honey....., Luv....!!!! 


What is the secret of this love??? 

Old man replied: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago........ & I'm scared to ask her.Read Details

Prize winning message of the

Prize winning message of the year : 

Wife at night : Tell me how much did Sachin score in 2003 world cup against Pakistan? 
Husband : 98, why you are asking ? 
Wife : Now tell me why you didn't wish me for my birthday since morning ? 
Silence........... Husband couldn't even say, I have a bad memoryRead Details

A married man's prayer; Dear

A married man's prayer; 

Dear God, 

You gave me childhood, You took it away. 
You gave me youth, You took it away. 

You gave me a wife.......... 

Its been years now, just reminding you...Read Details

औरत की दिलेरी का अंदाज़ा

औरत की दिलेरी का अंदाज़ा आदमी को शादी के उसी वक्त लगा लेना चाहिये,
जब वो उसे लेने 200 - 300 आदमियोँ की बारात लेकर जाता है,

और 'शेरनी' उधर से अकेली चली आती है ...Read Details

Pappu: Dad, l got selected

Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day! 
Dad: What role are you playing?
Pappu: A husband! 
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!Read Details

A child asked his father,

A child asked his father, "How were people born?
" So his father said,"Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became 
adults and made babies, and so on." 
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question 
and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."Read Details

A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every

A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a Mistress of her Husband
Miss for first year & Stress for rest of the lifeRead Details

A small argument between a

A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Husband says: Dont let the animal in me come out.
Wife replies: Whos afraid of a mouse!!!Read Details

Recent research tells husbands to

Recent research tells husbands to treat
Wife like electricity
If handled with care,
she will light up your life.
But if mishandled,
may give shocks through out your lifeRead Details

Marriage is a WORKSHOP ... where Husband

Marriage is a WORKSHOP ...


where


Husband Works

&

Wife Shops ...Read Details

Wife : I am not

Wife : I am not talking to you.
Husband : Okay.
Wife : Don't you want to know the reason.
Husband : No, I respect & trust your decision!Read Details

Husband is busy with computer

Husband is busy with computer while Wife was in Romantic Mood

Wife: I love you ...
Husband: hmmm, Say something if you have anything new !
Wife: I am going to be a Mother !!!
Husband: Good, anything else new !!!
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Wife (Irritated)) : And, you are NOT father of this baby.Read Details

Husband : I'm not

Husband :  I'm not getting sleep
Wife: Let go and then clean dishes 

Husband ::::: 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
This is Speaking of sleep ... sillyRead Details

Ramesh :::::::: sir! ---- My

Ramesh :::::::: sir! ---- My wife is missing !!!

This is the post office, not the police station :::: 

Ramesh :::::::: Oh Sorry! 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- Fuckin 'do not understand where to go in this killing spreeRead Details

Love your husband when he orders

Love your husband

when he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen your non stop talks.....        

Love him   

if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.

Love him
if he criticise your cooking ... 
he is still improving   his taste.....:

Love him
if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you

Love him
if he forgets to give you a gift on your birthday
he is saving money for your future. 

Love him ... 

Because you don't have a choice and 
killing is a legal offence


Fwd to all wives so they continue to love their husbandsRead Details

Wife wanted to go to

Wife wanted to go to her Her parents house...

Husband booked her tickets via Malaysian airlines...

...One time investment.Read Details

Newly married husband puts a

Newly married husband 

puts a notice in front of his residence:

FOR SALER "Computer and Encyclopedia" both in good condition. 

Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows EVERYTHING 

...with backup server called "Mother In Law "Read Details

Ek wife ki bade shaher

Ek wife ki bade shaher me
interview ke baad
naukari lag gai,
usne socha 'apne pati ko SMS
kar du,
taaki unhe chinta na ho, .
Par Usne Galati se galat no. Par
SMS bhej
diya.
Jisko ye MSG mila wo apni patni
ka antim sanskaar
kar ke laut raha thaa,
SMS padh te hi wo behosh ho
gaya.
MSG kuch is tarah ka thaa
. .
.
.
..
.
. ..
.'mai sahi salamat pahuch gai hu,
yaha
rahene ki
bi achhi suvidhaa hai,
aap chinta mat karna 1 - 2 din
me aap ko bi bula lungi...'Read Details

Football 2014 Man comes to sleep

Football 2014

Man comes to sleep after watching WorldCupFinal; at 3:30 am.
Wife - koun jeeta.?
Husband - Germany.
Wife - mujhe to pehle hi pata tha..India nahi jeetegi !!


Football 2014 JokesRead Details

Hubby-Jab main tumhe marta hu

Hubby-Jab main tumhe marta hu tb tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho?
Wife-Toilet saf krke
H-wo kaise?
W-Me toilet apki toothbrush se saf krti huRead Details

Wife - Meri age 58

Wife - Meri age 58 saal hote huve bhi aapka ek dost mere husn ki taarif karta hai....


Pati ... Usmaanbahi Hoga
Wife - Aapne Kaise Pahchana!!!

Pati - Wo Scrap Dealer hai....Read Details

Wife: Meri sharafat dekho... Maine

Wife: Meri sharafat dekho...
 Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli...



Husband: Aur meri sharafat dekho...
Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya..Read Details

Wife casually calls husband at

Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....

Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?


Wife : (after few seconds silence) - Daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha..Read Details

Yesterday night in an argument

Yesterday night in an argument with my wife she said 
Look you Coward , do u remember first time you came to my residence with 200 +people and I went alone with you
And myself as usual SPEECHLESSRead Details

One who loves us with

One who loves us with closed eye known  as - "Lover"
.
One who loves us upto close the eye known as  - "Mother"  and
.
One who loves with shows Eyes is known as - "Wife"Read Details

On wedding night, Husband - Ghar

On wedding night,

Husband - Ghar mein sabse pyar se rehna, sabki respect karna, unka Vishwas jeetna, unki care karna, hamesha sach bolna...

Wife(room ka darwaza khol kar) - Sab andar aajao, yahan satsang chal raha hai.. suhag raat mein Praannath ki jagah aloknath aa Gaye haiRead Details

बीवी ने बड़े प्यार से

बीवी ने बड़े प्यार से पति के गले में बाहें डाली और पूछा, कैसी लग रही हूं जी? 
पति: जैसे भगवान शंकर के गले में नागिन लिपटी हो।Read Details

Husband bought new car and

Husband bought new car and thought of giving surprise to wife....

He called his wife as he enters the house,
Darling, Your dream has came ture after many years...

Wife came running...
and ask

Hi Hi Hi

What happen to Mummji!!!Read Details

How to keep wife happy

How to keep wife happy . . . .  

It's really not difficult to make a wife happy.  A husband only needs to be:  
1. a friend  
2. a companion  
3. a lover  
4. a brother  
5. a father  
6. a man  
7. a chef  
8. an electrician  
9. a carpenter  
10. a plumber  
11. a mechanic  
12. a decorator  
13. a stylist  
14. a charmer 
15. a gynecologist  
16. a psychologist  
17. a bug exterminator 
18. a psychiatrist  
19. a healer  
20. a good listener  
21. an organizer  
22. a good father  
23. Very clean  
24. Sympathetic  
25. Athletic  
26. Warm  
27. Attentive  
28. Gallant  
29. Intelligent  
30. Funny  
31. Creative  
32. Tender  
33. Strong  
34. Understanding  
35. Tolerant  
36. Prudent  
37. Ambitious  
38. Capable  
39. Courageous  
40. Determined  
41. True  
42. Dependable  
43. Passionate  
44. Compassionate   

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:   
45. Give her compliments frequently 
46. Love shopping  
47. Be honest  
48. Be very rich  
49. Never stress her 

50. Never look at other women!  

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:  
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself 
53. Give her lots of space   

VERY IMPORTANT: 

54. Never to forget: * birthdays  * anniversaries  * her favorite color  * her favorite flower  * her favorite gem  * her favorite fragrance  * her favorite memories  * her favorite holidays  * her favorite friends  * her favorite vacation destinations * her favorite beverage  * her favorite food  * her favorite restaurant  * any arrangements she makes  


HOW TO MAKE HUSBAND HAPPY  
Just leave him alone.....with his TV remote...and beer .....And he'll be just fine...:

Dedicated to all ......Read Details

Men are always boring Creatures

Men are always boring Creatures WHY?   


1-Their last name stays with them forever,   
2-Phone conversations last just for 30 secs flat,   
3-A five day vacation requires only one jeans,   
4-If someone forgets to invite them, he can still be their friend after a drink,   
5-The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades,   
6-They can do shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes without even even knowing whether they really need it  
7-They dont freak out when they go to a party n see another man wearing the same shirt, instead they become buddies as poor guys don't have much choices.   
6. They always feel Friends' wives are better than their's.    Pass this to all men who think great of themselves and  To women who'll enjoy reading itRead Details

After 15 years of marriage,

After 15 years of marriage, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK.
"What does that mean?" she asked. 
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied. 
Smiling, she asked: What about IJK? 
He replied: I'm Just Kidding!Read Details

HUSBAND SENT AN SMS TO

HUSBAND SENT AN SMS TO WIFE:

Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever I am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming in my life and making it worth living.

You're Great.

SHE REPLIED :Pee li na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao..
DARO MAT..
KUCHH NAHI BOLUNGI..! !

Husband: Thank you. chal darwaza khol de neechae gate par khada hoon addhae ghante se.Read Details

Husband: "Jaan socha call kar

Husband: "Jaan socha call kar loon, tum miss to kar rahi hogi?" 
Wife: "Aurr subah jo ladai hui thi, woh kya tha?"
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Husband: "Oh fittay muh, ghar ka number lag gaya?"Read Details

Generally a Man does not

Generally a Man does not go to the place again... 
Where he has been Cheated once.

But many People still go to their "sasural place"..Read Details

पति देर रात एक पार्टी

पति देर रात एक पार्टी से घर लौटा। बीवी गुस्से में तमतमाई हुई थी, उसने चिल्लाकर पूछा, अगर तुम मुझे दो दिन तक
ना देखो तो तुम्हें कैसा लगेगा? 
पति को अपने कानों पर भरोसा ही नहीं हुआ, उसने खुशी के मारे बोल दिया, बहुत अच्छा लगेगा! ....
सोमवार का पूरा दिन बीत, पति को बीवी नहीं दिखाई दी...
इसी तरह मंगलवार और बुद्धवार भी बीत गए... लेकिन
पति को अपनी बीवी नहीं दिखी!
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गुरुवार को पति के चेहरे से सूजन कुछ कम हुई और वो बायीं आँख के कोने से आखिरकार अपनी बीवी को देख पाया।Read Details

एक मासूम सी बीवी थी... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . भैया,,,

एक मासूम सी बीवी थी...
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भैया,,, जोक् तो ऊपर ही था..वहीं हंस लेते..
ईतने नीचे क्युं चले आये ???Read Details

Husband: Agar operation ke dauran

Husband: Agar operation ke dauran mujhe kuch ho jaye, to usi doctor se shadi kar lena.
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Biwi: Aisa kyun keh rahe ho?
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Husband: To kya doctor ko maaf kar du ....?Read Details

Criteria for life partner: A Man's

Criteria for life partner:
A Man's criteria for life partner
They expect their women to Look like Miss Universe and Work like Shanta Bai
And
A Female's criteria for life partner.
They expect their man to earn like Ambani & behave like Manmohan SinghRead Details

If a man is allowed

If a man is allowed to select a girl from 100 girls
and even if he picks the most beautiful girl,
He still FEELs the Pain of losing the remaining Ninety Nine girls!!
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and women say Men don't have feelingsRead Details

Message to wife... Meri piyari bivi

Message to wife...

Meri piyari bivi !!! 

Sawaal kuchh bhi ho,
Jawab tum hi ho. 

Rasta koi bhi ho,
Manzil tum hi ho.

Dukh kitna hi ho,
Khushi tum hi ho.

Armaan kitna hi ho,
Aarzu tum hi ho.

Gussa jitna bhi ho,
Pyar tum hi ho.

Khwab koi bhi ho,
Taqdeer tum hi ho.

Yaani aisa samjho ki, Fasaad Kuch bhi ho,
Saare fasaad ki jadd, Sirf tum hi ho...

Himmat hai to apni apni waliyon ko bhejna...... !!!!Read Details

Every Wife Must Read This..... Love

Every Wife Must Read This.....

Love Your Husband... 
When he orders you to make tea or coffee. 
He wants to feel fresh to listen your nonstop talks.....

Love Him... 
If he looks at all the beautiful females. 
he is just checking that you are still the best.

Love Him... 
If criticise your cooking.. 
He is still improving his taste.....

Love Him...
If snores at night and disturbs your sleep. 
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after Marriage with you

Love Him... 
If he forgets to give you a gift on your birthday he is saving money for your Future. 

Love Him...
Because you don't Have a Choice..Read Details

Husband & wife dining in

Husband & wife dining in a hotel:

Hubby: 
I wanna tell you something.

Wife:
Its not good manners to talk while eating.
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(After Eating)

Wife:
Now tell me.

Hubby: 
There was a cockroach in your biryani...Read Details

Saying " love u too"

Saying " love u too" after your wife says " I love u" is like saying " jai mata di" after u hear " jor se bolo". 
Its compulsory!!!Read Details

Wife (angrily) - I don't

Wife (angrily) - 
I don't believe this... 
u forgot my birthday again?? 
How can you do this...

Husband - how can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never look older..

Wife (clears her throat and smiles) - 

jaanu Sacchi 😛

Husband in his mind (sahi time pe dialogue aa gya beta...
warna marta aaj...)Read Details

HEIGHT OF JEALOUSY AMONG LADIES A

HEIGHT OF JEALOUSY AMONG LADIES

A wealthy business man and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

wife : Glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

Husband...she is my mistress
Wife.....enough, i just want divorce now
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
Wife : "Who's that woman with him?"
Husband :"That's his mistress"
Wife: paused, looked her up and down."Ours was much better than this over painted bitch "Read Details

Once A Man Asked God:

Once A Man Asked God: "Why All Girls Are So Cute & Sweet, And All Wifes Are Always Angry

God Answered: Girls Are Made By Me ... And you make them Wife...!!!
Your Problem ... !!!Read Details

Wife - suppose karo....main tumhari

Wife - suppose karo....main tumhari har baat samjhu...aur manu to...??R33;R33;Husband haste haste floor pe gir jata hai - mujhse to suppose bhi nhi ho raha.....Read Details

Hrithik Roshan and his wife

Hrithik Roshan and his wife Sussanne have decided to separate.

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Moral : Even a superhero like Krrish cannot handle a Wife.Read Details

पति पत्नी में भयंकर वाक्

पति पत्नी में भयंकर वाक् युध्द हुआ।
पति ने क़ोध में आकर कहा- " मै पति पद से इस्तीफा देता हूँ"
पत्नी ने कहा - " वैकल्पिक व्यवस्था होने तक पद पर बने रहिये"Read Details

Today is a fine day! Husband

Today is a fine day!

Husband to wife: Today is a fine day.

Next day he says: Today is a fine day.

Again next day, he says same thing: Today is a fine day.

Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband: Since one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter?

Husband: Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.'

I was just trying to remind you.Read Details

Wife takes her very ill

Wife takes her very ill husband to a Doctor.

Doctor advises to wife : 
- Give him healthy breakfast daily
- Be pleasant & in good mood 
- Cook tasty dinner 
- Don't discuss your problems with him 
- Stop watching tv shows & facebook n whats app
- Don't demand new jewels 
If u can do this for one year, Ur husband will be ok.
On the way to home, husband asks wife : 
What did Doctor say ?
Wife : Bachna mushkil hai !Read Details

Wife : I hate that

Wife : I hate that beggar.
Husband : Why ?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday 
I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook" !!!Read Details

4 dangerous weapons in the

4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:

1. Wife's Smile
2. Wife's Tear
3. Wife's Looks
& the most dangerous,
4. Wife's Missed Call.!Read Details

Girl: Jaanu, Mujhe kisi mehnghi

Girl: Jaanu, Mujhe kisi mehnghi jagah pe ghumane le chalo na.
Boy:Chal,taiyaar ho ja. Pehle Petrol pump fir gas agency, baad me sabji mandi chalenge.Read Details

Agar Husband Apni Wife k

Agar Husband Apni Wife k Liye
Car ka Darwaza Kholay,
Toh Samajh Jao ke...

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Ya to Car Nayi Hai,,
Ya
Wife Nayi Hai,
Ya phir....

Wife 'Nahi' hai...Read Details

Put your wife in a

Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 

(Readers are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog)Read Details

Why love marriage is better

Why love marriage is better dan Arranged????
B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL"  is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".Read Details

Wife - agar main kho

Wife - agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....KHUSH RAHORead Details

Apni Biwi ko apni 100%

Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai

... Paisa apka ... Faisla apka .. . Jaago Graahak Jaago !!!Read Details

A woman worries about her

A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband..
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !!Read Details

A Man before marriage is

A Man before marriage is - Superman.
After Marriage - Gentleman.
5 Years  Later - Watchman.
10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua SpidermanRead Details

Customer To Hotel Manager:- . . . . Jaldi Chalo... Meri

Customer To Hotel
Manager:-
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Jaldi Chalo... Meri Biwi
Khidki Se Kud Kar Jaan
Dena Chahti Hai.
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Manager:- So, What Can I
Do?
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Customer:- Kamine...
Khidki Khul Nahi Rahi
Hai. . . . . .khol jakeRead Details

1. टाटा नैनो की नीलामी

1. टाटा नैनो की नीलामी हो रही थी
बोली लगी ..
5 लाख 
10 लाख 
20 लाख
संता : इस सस्ती और पुरानी गाड़ी में ऐसा क्या है भाई ?.
बेचने वाला : इसके 12 एक्सीडेंट हुए हैं, हर बार सिर्फ बीवी मरी है।..
संता : इसकी मां की आंख ..1 करोड़Read Details

Husband apni wife ka janaza

Husband apni wife ka janaza le k ja raha tha
Janaze k aage 1 kutta
or
peeche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi
1 aadmi aa kar puchta hai
Bhai ye sub kese huwa
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha or meri wife mar gai
Aadmi: Ye kutta 1 din k liye mujhe de do
Husband: Tum kya samajhte ho ye sub log meri b v k janaze mein shirkat karne aaye hen?
ye sub kutta lene aaye hen Peeche line mein lag jao..Read Details

पप्पू रेलवे स्टेशन घर जा

पप्पू रेलवे स्टेशन घर जा रहा था,
रास्ते में उसके दोस्त ने पप्पू के जले हुए होंठ देखे... 
दोस्त: यार पप्पू तेरे होंठ कैसे जल गए...?,,,
पप्पू: कुछ नहीं यार, बीबी को स्टेशन छोड़ने गया था,
वो मायके जा रही थी...बस ख़ुशी में ट्रेन का इंजन चूम लियाRead Details

Agar aapki wife aapka kehna

Agar aapki wife aapka kehna nahi manti hai to..
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to..
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Itna dhyan se mat padho,
kisi ki nahi manti...
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Iska koi solution nahi hai.!Read Details

Wife (seeing stars): btao wo

Wife (seeing stars): btao wo kaun si chiz hai,
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jo tum roz dekh sakte ho par tod nahi
sakte.?
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Husband: nahi mai nahi btaunga.
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Wife(smiling): nahi btao na plz.
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Husband : Tera muh ... .....Read Details

Wife husband se phone pe:

Wife husband se phone pe: Jee ye window open nahi ho raha hai.
Husband: thoda sa tel garam kar ke daal do.
Wife: Isase window open ho jayega.
Husband: Koshish kar ke dekho. 
Thodi der bad husband phone kar ke wife se puchhata hai.: window open hua.
Wife: Window to open nahi hua, par ab laptop bhi band ho gaya...Read Details

Wife= agr me kho jau,

Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge

husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga

wife=baba se kya kahoge

husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gRead Details

Power Of Wife :389; Hubby :-

Power Of Wife :389;

Hubby :- Ye kyaa tum ek aur dress le aayi ? Abhi parso hee to...

Wife chilla kar boli :-

Kyaa parso ?
Bolo......
Bolo kyaa kahaa tum ne ?
Ruk kyon gaye ? 
Kyaa parso, 
Parso kyaa,
Bolo jaldi 
Jaldi bolo naa,
Bataa-o kyaa parso ?

Hubby : Kuchh nahi, main bus yeh keh rahaa thaa ki parso bhi ek hee dress laayi thi pagli, aaj to do le aati...Read Details

Wife: Is that Bret Lee Husband:

Wife: Is that Bret Lee

Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.

Husband: He does not have an actor brother

Wife: What about Bruce Lee

Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.

Husband: No. It is called action replay.

Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.

Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta

Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.

Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. Its a free hit.

Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a  free hit?

Wife: Now whom is he saying HI to?

Husband: He is signalling a Bye.

Wife: Why is he saying Bye. Is the game over?

Wife: How many runs to win?

Husband: 72 in 36 balls

Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball

Husband turns off the TV.

Wife turns it on andRead Details

Wife Pati ko Maar Rahi

Wife Pati ko Maar Rahi Thi
Padosi : Kyu maar rahi ho bechare pati ko ?
Patni : Koi bechara nahin hai, Inko call kiya to ek
ladki boli
"Aap hamare jis grahak se sampark karna chahte
ho, wo abhi vyast hai" kripaya kuch der bhaad call
kare ...Read Details

Simple Test for love &

Simple Test for love & Affection:

Put your wife in a room & lock it..
Put your dog in another room & lock it!
Open both of them after 2 - 3 hours &

see who is Happy to see U, and who will BITE you

(The users are advised not to try at home as these stunts are performed by professionals)Read Details

Patni Pati ko surprise karne

Patni Pati ko surprise karne ke liye Kitchen me jake New SIM se Call ki & Boli-"Hello Darling".
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Pati- Baad me call karo Jaan,
"Abhi wo Kamini kitchen mai haiRead Details

Wife to Husband (on Phone)

Wife to Husband (on Phone) : Hi, Are you busy?
Husband : Yes! Why? What is it?
Wife : I have a Good news & a Bad news!
Husband : Just give me the Good news, don't have time for the Bad.
Wife : Ok, the Good news is that the Air Bags in our new BMW 7 series worked perfectly FINE !!Read Details

धरती से जाने के बाद

धरती से जाने के बाद प्राण साहब ऊपर पहुंचे ...

यमराज ने प्राण साहब से पूछा -: कौन हो तुम ?

इस पर प्राण बोले... इस इलाके में नए आए हो साहब, 
वर्ना शेर खान को कौन नहीं जानता...

यमराज: जानते हो कहाँ खङे हो, और किससे बात कर रहे हो?

प्राण: सब पता है, शेर खान ने शादी नहीं की तो क्या, बारातें बहुत देखी हैं...

यमराज (चिल्लाते हुए) -: हम यम हैँ यम! इस तरह से बात कैसे कर रहे हो??

प्राण: चिल्लाओ नहीं बरखुरदार , गला खराब हो जाएगा ...Read Details

Wife: U had lunch? Husband(in fun

Wife: U had lunch?
Husband(in fun mood) : U had lunch?
Wife : Im asking u.
Husband : Im asking u.
Wife: U copying me?
Husband: U copying me?
Wife: Lets go shopping
Husband: I had lunchRead Details

Man: I lost my wife. Inspector:

Man: I lost my wife.

Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim, can be healthy

Inspector: Colour of the eyes?
Man: Never noticed

Inspector: Colour of hair?
Man: Changes according to season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit. I don't remember exactly.

Inspector: Was somebody with her???
Man: Yes, my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, brown eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non-veg. food, we eat together, we jog together... And the man started crying....

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!Read Details

पत्नी (पति से) बोली -

पत्नी (पति से) बोली - मैंने सुना है कि स्वर्ग में पति-पत्नी को साथ में रहने नहीं देते...। 

पति : अरे पगली, तभी तो उसे स्वर्ग कहते हैRead Details

Wife : Jaanu ! Aaj

Wife : Jaanu ! Aaj tumhari girl friend night stay karne aa rahi hai !

Maine fridge mein beer & fresh fruit salad banake rakha hai.

Room freshner side table par hein.

Nahaane ka soap with lime fragrance or towel bhi rakha hein.

Main baccho ko Leker mummy ke yaha jaa rahi hoon, kal sham tak aa jaungi.

Program mein koi change ho toh inform kar dena, mein wahin aur ruk jaungi...!
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Isko kahte hai
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Mungerilal ke haseen sapne...!!!!!Read Details

Patni:- Suno ji news paper

Patni:- Suno ji news paper me
khabar chapi hai ki ek pati ne apni patni ko bech diya....
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Pati:- Kya kitne me bech diya usne apnipatni ko...??
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Patni:- Sirf ek cycle ke badle
me....Suno ji
kahi aap to mere sath aisa nahin karoge
na....
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Pati:- Are tu bhi na pagal hai ekdam....
Mai tughe aise hi thode na bechunga....
rajb2b.com pe bechunga 

Tere badle me to ek puri Car aa jayegi...Read Details

Bihar Govt. announced Rs. 50,000

Bihar Govt. announced Rs. 50,000 to every family with 5 children in house-hold.

Pandey had 4 so he tells his wife, "Meri girlfriend se mera ek baccha hai, use le aata hu. Paanch ho jayenge aur Govt. Pachas hazar de degi hume."

Pandey baccha leke ghar aaya aur usne wife se puchha, "Baccha agaya hai. Hamare chaar kahan hain?"

Wife boli, "Jis jis ke the woh le gayeRead Details

सड़क किनारे एक भिखारी बैठा

सड़क किनारे एक भिखारी बैठा हुआ था. उसने सूरत से ही सम्पन्न लगने वाले एक आदमी को अपनी ओर आते देखा तो कातर स्वर में बोला  साहब, भगवान के लिए इस गरीब को रोटी खाने के लिए दो रुपये दे दीजिए  

आदमी यह सुनकर ठिठका, फिर बोला  अबे, रोटी खाकर क्या करेगा, चल मैं तुझे व्हिस्की पिलाता हूँ !

भिखारी  नहीं साहब, मैं शराब नहीं पीता.

आदमी  तो ये ले सिगार पी  बीस रुपये का आता है ये !

भिखारी  नहीं नहीं साहब, मैं धूम्रपान नहीं करता .

आदमी  अच्छा तो फिर चल, मेरे साथ कैसीनो चल मैं पैसे लगाऊंगा और तू खेलना. हो सकता है तू ढेर सारा पैसा जीत जाए !

भिखारी  राम राम, जुआ खेलना तो बहुत बुरी बात होती है साहब  

आदमी  अच्छा तो फिर चम्पाबाई के कोठे पर चल, तुझे मुजरा दिखाकर लाता हूँ  

भिखारी  नहीं साहब, मैं वेश्याओं के यहाँ नहीं जाता !

आदमी  ठीक है तो फिर एक बार मेरे घर तो चल  

भिखारी  आपके घर क्यों साहब ?

आदमी  मैं अपनी बीवी को दिखाना चाहता हूँ कि जो आदमी शराब नहीं पीता, सिगरेट नहीं पीता, जुआ नहीं खेलता और बाजारू औरतों के पीछे नहीं घूमता  वह कैसा होता है !Read Details

Your husband needs rest Doctor: Madam,

Your husband needs rest
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!Read Details

Message of the year Women live

Message of the year
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!! Why? Very simple... 
A woman does not have a wife..!!!Read Details

Dream of receiving jewellery &

Dream of receiving jewellery & cloths
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!Read Details

Difference between Friend & Wife U

Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"Read Details

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN Nobody teaches

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
& no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.Read Details

Why women starts with "W"

Why women starts with "W" because all questions start with "W".. ! 
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!Read Details

Dinner Wife: Do you want

Dinner Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.Read Details

Habit of talking in sleep A

Habit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what should I give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awakeRead Details

I will think about it

I will think about it 
When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..Read Details

New SIM to surprise her

New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. 
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:
"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:
"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..Read Details

Husband was seriously ill. Doc to

Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don't demand new clothes & gold jewels. Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok. 
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to surviveRead Details

Angry wife to her husband 0n

Angry wife to her husband
0n Phone: "Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop, Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I 'm in the Pub Just Next To That ShopRead Details

Always LOVE Wife, No Life Without

Always LOVE Wife,
No Life Without Wife,
Wife se PYAAR karo,
Wife ke Prati Imaandar raho,
Wife ke Prati Vafadar raho,
"Ye Mat Socho ki...





WIFE KIS KI hai.!"Read Details

पति-पत्नी एक भीड़ वाली बस

पति-पत्नी एक भीड़ वाली बस में सफर कर रहे थे।
पति को एक जवान लड़की से सट कर खड़ा देख पत्नी जल-भुन रही थी। इतने में अचानक लड़की घूमी और उसने महिला के पति के गाल पर एक जोरदार तमाचा मार दिया...
लड़की: यह लो पराई औरत को चिकोटी काटने का मजा!
बस से उतरने पर पति ने पत्नी को सफाई देते हुए कहा: कसम से, मैंने कोई चिकोटी नहीं काटी थी। सच कह रहा हूं!
पत्नी मुस्कुराकर बोली: मुझे मालूम है!Read Details

बांके जैसे ही पत्नी को

बांके जैसे ही पत्नी को अपनी तरफ आते हुए देखता चश्मा पहन लेता

एक दिन पत्नी ने पूछा...

जब भी मैं तुम्हारे पास आती हूं...

तो तुम चश्मा क्यों पहन लेते हो...

बांके: डॉक्टर ने कहा था जब भी सिरदर्द आए चश्मा पहन लेना...!!!Read Details

पत्नी (चिल्लाते हुए) : अजी

पत्नी (चिल्लाते हुए) : अजी सुनते
हो Window खुल नहीं रही !

पति (बैठे बैठे) : थोडा पानी डाल दो ..
जाम हो गयी होगी !

थोड़ी देर बाद ....
पति : क्या हुआ Window खुली के नहीं ?

पत्नी : Window तो क्या खुलनी थी ..
पानी डालने के बाद से अब लैपटॉप भी ऑन नहीं हो रहाRead Details

डाक्टर साहब जल्दी चलो !

डाक्टर साहब जल्दी चलो ! मेरी पत्नी को साँस आ रही या नहीं ?या ढोंग ....?
---पडौस में रहने वाली लड़की को छेड़ कर देख लो ....डाक्टर का जवाब ...!Read Details

पति (पत्नी से)- न कजरे

पति (पत्नी से)- न कजरे की धार, न मोतियों के हार, न कोई किया श्रृंगार, फिर भी इतनी सुंदर हो.

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पत्नी (क्रोध में आकर) - साफ-साफ कहो ना कि मेकअप के पैसे नही दोगे...Read Details

पत्नी से मंदिर के बाहर

पत्नी से मंदिर के बाहर पति बोला,"तुम यहीं रुक जाओ मैं दर्शन कर के आ जाता हूँ"।

पत्नी: क्यों? मुझे भी दर्शन करने हैं मैं भी आउंगी।

पति: अरे वो तो ठीक है पर मंदिर का भी कोई नियम कायदा है।

पत्नी: अच्छा वो कौनसा कायदा है जो मेरे मंदिर जाने पर पाबंदी लगाता है?

पति: वो देखो सामने बोर्ड पे साफ़ साफ़ लिखा हुआ है कि विस्फोटक सामग्री को अन्दर ले जाना मना हैं, तो मैं तुम्हें कैसे ले जाऊ"।Read Details

Judge: What's the proof that

Judge: What's the proof that you were not over-speeding?
Man: My Lord, I was going to my in-laws place to bring my wife back.
Judge: Case dismissed..!Read Details

Wife : " 'Naari' Ka

Wife : " 'Naari' Ka Matlab Kya Hai...?"

Husband : "Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti...!!!"

Wife : "To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai...?"

Husband : "Very Simple.... sirf 'Sahan Shakti' hi hai...!!!!"Read Details

A wife looks in the

A wife looks in the mirror and tells her husband:"I look horrible, fat and ugly... Please say something nice about me"

The husband replies, "Your eyesight is PERFECT"Read Details

Husband(jalane k liye):" Kal mere

Husband(jalane k liye):" Kal mere khawab mein ek ladki aai thi
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Wah kya ladki the
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Wife:" Akeli aayi hogi..??? .
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. Wife: " Uska husband mere khwab mein aaya tha......Read Details

Husband k B'day par Wife

Husband k B'day par Wife ne pucha- :- b29; 
Kya gift du? b29; 

Husband-:- b29; 
tum mujhe pyar karo, b29; 
meri izzat karo aur. b29; 
mera kehna mano. b29; 
Yekafi hai. b29; 
. b29; 
. b29; 
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WIFE :- b29; 
Nahi Nahi b29; 
main to GIFT hi dungi b29;Read Details

India me sirf 1% Ladkiya hi Tennis, Cricket, Hockey Jaise

India me sirf
1% Ladkiya hi
Tennis,
Cricket,
Hockey
Jaise khel khelti hain.

Aur Baaki.?

Baaki 99%
BIWI bankar
PATI ki Zindagi se
khelti hain...!!Read Details

एक बार एक आदमी अपनी

एक बार एक आदमी अपनी पत्नी के साथ दांतों के डॉक्टर के क्लीनिक में जाता है और कहता है, "' डॉक्टर मै बहुत जल्दी में हूं सच कहूं तो बाहर गाडी में मेरे दो दोस्त बैठकर गोल्फ खेलने के लिए जाने के लिए मेरी राह देख रहे है इसीलिए आप ऐसा करें की बिना बेहोश किये दर्द दे रहे दांत को निकाल दें।

डॉक्टर: बिना बेहोश किये दांत निकालने से बहुत दर्द होगा।

आदमी: कोई बात नहीं डॉक्टर साहब हमें 10 बजे गोल्फ क्लब पहुंचना है इसीलिए बेहोशी का असर होने तक रुकने का वक्त मेरे पास नही है।

डॉक्टर ने कुछ देर सोचा और बोला, "ठीक है बताओ कौनसा दांत निकालना है"?

डॉक्टर की बात सुन वह आदमी अपनी पत्नी की तरफ पलटा और बोला, "जानू मुह खोलो और डॉक्टर साहब को बताओ कौनसा दांत निकालना है"।Read Details

Train me 1 husband apni

Train me 1 husband apni wife se-,,,tujhe se shadi kr ke pachta rha hu,dil krta h tujhe kutte ke aage daal du.saamne wala passenger-BHO. BHO.BHO.BHO..Read Details

Pogo Watchers Step Aside Plsh

Pogo Watchers Step Aside Plsh :P

Biwi : aik glass paani pila do ?
Husband : Khud uth ke pi lo

Biwi : Pila do naaa ... 
Husband : Ab kaha na to thappar marunga ...

Biwi : Yaad hai na ? aj saturday night hai yaad hai na tumhen ??

Husband : Jaanu garam laon ya fridge ka ?? 
kaho to pepsi hi le ata hun apni jaaan ke liye main ...Read Details

Husbnd asks, Do you know

Husbnd asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE; He told It Means. 
Without Information Fighting Everytime! 

WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot for EverRead Details

Funny Commerce Question: In a

Funny Commerce Question: In a marriage photo album why husband is on the right and wife on the left in every photo.
Answer: Kyun Ki Balance Sheet Ke Anusar Liblities Left Mein Hoti Hai Aur Assets Right MeinRead Details

After 2 Year Of Married

After 2 Year Of Married Life, Some Examples How Wives Fight With Their Husbands.
Accountant Wife: Apne Hisab Se Raho Samjhe,
Share Broker Wife: Jyada Bola Na Toh Sauda Kar Dungi Loss Mein,
Orthopedic Doctor Wife: Kam Bolo, Haddiyan Tod Dungi,
Piolet Wife: Aaj Kal Jyada Hee Hawa Mein Udd Rahey Ho, Zameen Par Laau Kya Abhi,
History Teacher Wife: Mujhe Jyada Itihaas Mat Sikhao Samjhe,
Software Engineer Wife: Abey Pehle Bug Toh Nikal Le, Baad Mein Bahas Karna.Read Details

Sukhi vaivaahit jeevan ka raaz... . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sukhi vaivaahit jeevan ka raaz...
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aaj bhi raaz hi hai.Read Details

EK AADMI KI BIVI Sunami

EK AADMI KI BIVI Sunami me bahgai ,
Wo jab bhi Samundr Kinare Jata ,
Lehre uske Pair Bhiga Jati aur Wo Kehta ,
Kitna bhi Pair Chhulo ,
BIVI WAPAS NAHI LUNGA ;)Read Details

1 LADY Apne BF K

1 LADY Apne BF K Sat Gum Rhi ti. Itne ME Uska Hsbnd Aa gya or usk BF Ko Peetne Lga.
Ldy-Mar Sale Ko! Apni BV Gumate Nhi, Dusre Ki BV Ko Gumane le ate h.
Itne me BF ko josh aya or wo hsbnd ko marne lga.
Ldy-Mar sale ko! na khud gumane le jata h,na kisi or ko gumane deta h..Read Details

What is Difference Between COMPLETE

What is Difference Between COMPLETE & FINISH ?

When You Marry The Right Woman,
You Are "COMPLETE"
And
When You Marry The Wrong One,
You Are "FINISHED"!

And

When The Right One Catches You With The Wrong One,
You Are "COMPLETELY FINISHED" !Read Details

Husband - G krta h

Husband - G krta h k tumhari zulfo Me khoJau Tumhari ankho Me busJau Tumhari baho Me jhool Jau.
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wife- DEVANAND hi rahoge ya kbhi IMRAN HASHMi Bhi Bnoge...!Read Details

Wife: Look at that drunker. Husband: Who is

Wife:
Look at that drunker.

Husband:
Who is he?

Wife:
10 yrs back he proposed me & I rejected him.

Husband:
Oh My God, he is still celebrating.Read Details

Wife-janu, kash aap msz hote,main

Wife-janu, kash aap msz hote,main aapko save karti,jab chahe padhti
Husband- kanjus,save hi karke rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?Read Details

Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya

Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai, meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.

Husband: Mujhe toh yeh tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai.Read Details

शादी के बाद पति ने

शादी के बाद पति ने पूछा :

"तुम्हारे शादी से पहले कितने boyfriend थे ?"

Wife ने 1 लिफाफा दिया , जिसमे चावल के कुछ दाने और 200 Rs. थे .

पति : ये क्या ?

Wife : मै जब भी boyfriend बनाती थी तो 1 चावल का दाना इसमें डाल देती थी .

पति (दाने गिन के ) बस 7? और ये 200 Rs. क्यूँ ?

Wife : 4 किल्लो चावल बेच दिए ...Read Details

Golden Rule:- To be happy with

Golden Rule:-
To be happy with a man,
love him little and understand him a lot.

To be happy with a woman,
love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand herRead Details

Friend I notice that

Friend  I notice that Your Wife is mostly in the kitchen, Probably she Cooks many varieties.!
Husband  No.! Actually our Telephone Connection is in the kitchen.!Read Details

Munna : Will U marry

Munna : Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
Munna: No I will also live with ur sister.Read Details

In art gallery couple sees, picture

In art gallery couple sees,
picture of a girl covered by leaf,
Husband keeps watching,
Wife: ab chaloge ya PATJHAR,
ka intezar karte raho gay.Read Details

पति - जानती हो, विदेशों

पति - जानती हो, विदेशों में तलाक लेना बहुत ही आसान है 
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पत्नी  जानती हूँ, तभी तो वहाँ लडकियां शादी के समय रोती नहीं हैं. !!!Read Details

एक कहावत: पति और पत्नी

एक कहावत: पति और पत्नी एक ही गाड़ी के दो पहियों की तरह होते हैं...
नया संस्करण: कोई भी पहिया पंक्चर हो सकता है..
इसलिए समझदार लोग हमेशा एक स्टेपनी रखते हैं...!!!Read Details

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk:Did u see me robbing?
Clerk:Yes.Robber shot him dead asked nextclerk:Did u?
2nd clerk:No, But my wife saw uRead Details

Teacher: Nari ka matlab kya

Teacher: Nari ka matlab kya hota hai ?

Pappu : Nari ka matlab hota hai

"SHAKTI "
...

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Teacher : To Purush ka Matlab kya hota hai ?
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Pappu : " SEHAN - SHAKTI "Read Details

Wife:-I will die. Husband:- I will

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:- because I can`t bear that much happinessRead Details

A Woodcutter Loses his Axe

A Woodcutter Loses his Axe (Kulhaadi) & Lord Offers him Both Gold & Silver but He takes his Own Axe & Seeing his Honesty Lord gives him All 3.

One day he goes Again 2 Forest with his Wife. But his Wife Falls into the River, he Cries n Pleads to the Lord to give him his Wife.
Lord brings Out Angelina Jolie & Asked
'Is this ur Wife'
He Replied - Yes.!
Lord said 'U Lied and you are gona be Punished'
He Said 'wait Lord I Lied bcoz if I had Said No, u Would have taken out Cameron Diaz. 
If Then I said no, u Would have taken Out My Wife and Seeing my Honesty, U would have Given me All 3.
Bt I m a Poor Man, I Can't keep All 3. So I said Yes to Angelina.

God: here u go take her home.

Moral: Men r Honest Liars.:pRead Details

Husband messages wife : Hi,

Husband messages wife : Hi, what are you doing, darling ?
Wife : I'm dying.....
Husband jumps with joy but types : Oh dear, how can I live without you ?
Wife : You idiot, I'm dying my hair....
Husband : Shit...bloody English...!!!!!Read Details

What is the first sign

What is the first sign of old age?

~Wrinkles...?
No....

Medicines....?
No....

Boldness....?
Certainly not...

Then what..?
Think...

Don't know...?
When you start Loving Your

OWN WIFE !!Read Details

अगर आपकी पत्नी आपका कहा

अगर आपकी पत्नी आपका कहा नहीं मानती तो....
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तो
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तो
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इतना ध्यान से क्या पढ़रहें हैं...
किसी की भी पत्नी अपने पति का कहा नहीं मानती...Read Details

Wife-Mujhe apne pati par shak

Wife-Mujhe apne pati par shak hai k wah roj bahar kisi ladki se milte hai.
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Saheli-Ab tum kya karogi?
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Wife-Aaj hi unke piche apne dono boyfriend ko lagati hu.Read Details

Wife on Phone - Kaha

Wife on Phone - Kaha ho aap?
Pati - Tumhe wo jwellry shop yad hai jaha tumhe 1 diamond ka set bahut pasand aya tha, per mere pas paise nahi they.

Wife (khush hote huye) Haan haan mujhe sab yad hai.

Pati - haan to usi shop ke baju wali shop pe baal katwa raha huRead Details

India me Sirf 1% ladkiya

India me Sirf 1% ladkiya hi 
cricket 
tennis
hockey 
volyball 
jaise khel khelti hai pata hai Q? 
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Q k 99% ladkiya ,PATNI BAN KAR PATIYO KI zindagi se khelti hai.Read Details

पत्नी: मैंने तुम्हें बिना देखे

पत्नी: मैंने तुम्हें बिना देखे शादी की...
कैन यू बिलीव दैट?
पति: और मेरी हिम्मत तो देखो..मैंने देखने के बाद भी तुमसे शादी की...!!Read Details

"Happiest man is one whose

"Happiest man is one whose son's photo is on Business World cover,
Daughter's on India Today,
Girl friend's on Femina and ....
Wife's on missing column of newspaper.....!!!"Read Details

From a woman's point of

From a woman's point of view :

1.The most perfect man in the world is her father...
2.The most abused husband in the world is her brother...
3.The most handsome man in the world is her son...
4.The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband...
5.The most thankful man in the world is her son in law...
6. And the worst, most selfish, heartless, total jerk and the man with worst behavior in the world is her husband........!!!!Read Details

पत्नी: सुनो जी, यदि तुम्हारे

पत्नी: सुनो जी, यदि तुम्हारे बाल ऐसे ही गिरते रहे तो मैं तुम्हें तलाक दे दूंगी.

पति: ओह भगवान, और मैं बेवकूफ इन बालों को बचाने में लगा था. आज ही गंजा होता हूं भागवान.Read Details

A Husband: Last 9t, it

A Husband: Last 9t, it was my fault. My wife asked me,"what's on TV ?" & i said,"DUST!".Read Details

Wife: Suno ji, Doctor ne

Wife: Suno ji, Doctor ne muje ek mahina aaram ke liye swizerland ya paris jaane ko kaha hai.
Hum kaha jayenge?
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Husband: Dusre Doctor ke paas.Read Details

NAWAB ne BEGAM se bola:HATA

NAWAB ne BEGAM se bola:HATA Lo Apne Chahre Se Ye Zulfe,O Jaane-E-Tamanna
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KHUDA Kasam
Agli Baar "Khane" Me Baal Aaya to SAJNI se GAJNI bana DUNGA.Read Details

Ek aadmi God se :: Tune

Ek aadmi God se ::
Tune bachpan diya cheen liya,
Jawani di cheen li,
Paisa diya wapas le liya,
Ab ye biwi di hai 
to de kar bhool gaya kya.:)Read Details

Biwi raat me kpde utarte

Biwi raat me kpde utarte hue, 
tirchi nazar se pati ki traf dekhte hue boli- "Pta h na kya krna h?"
Pati: aisi ki taisi. Me itni rat ko kapde ni dhounga.. :))Read Details

Ek aadmi God se :: Tune

Ek aadmi God se ::

Tune bachpan diya cheen liya,
Jawani di cheen li,
Paisa diya wapas le liya,
Ab ye biwi di hai 
to de kar bhool gaya kya.:)Read Details

Biwi raat me kpde utarte

Biwi raat me kpde utarte hue,
tirchi nazar se pati ki traf dekhte hue boli- "Pta h na kya krna h?"

Pati: aisi ki taisi. Me itni rat ko kapde ni dhounga.. :))Read Details

Ladies se bhari bus ka

Ladies se bhari bus ka accident ho gya
Sari ladies mar gayi
sbke pati 1-1 ghnte roye
santa akela 2 ghnte roya..

Q??

Qki uski patni ki bus chhut gyi..:-)Read Details

Doctor : bhagwan maine logo

Doctor : bhagwan maine logo ki bahot sewa ki hai mujhe swarg me aane do.

god : nahi tum andar nahi aa sakte.

Pandit: bhagwan maine sari jindagi aapki pooja ki hai mujhe swarg me aane do.

god : nahi tum bhi andar nahi aa sakte.

Married person : bhagwan mai shadi shuda hu .
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god: bas kar pagle rulayega kiya, chal aa andar swarg me aaRead Details

Gusse Ka Aana Mard hone

Gusse Ka Aana Mard hone Nishaani Hai


Magar

Gusse ko Pee Jaana woh

Husband hone ki Nishaani HaiRead Details

कभी सोचा है कि पत्नी

कभी सोचा है कि पत्नी को बेगम क्यों कहते हैं? 
क्यों कि शादी के बाद सारे गम तो पति के हिस्से में आते हैं और पत्नी बे गम हो जाती है।Read Details

Jo Biwi Apne Pati se

Jo Biwi Apne Pati se darti hai,
Wo markar Swarg Mai Jaati hai,

or

Jo Biwi apne pati se nahi darti hai
Uske liye tau yahi par swarg haiRead Details

यदि कोई पति कार का

यदि कोई पति कार का दरवाजा खोलकर खड़ा हो जाये और 
पत्नी से बैठने का आग्रह करे तो यह तय जानिये कि या तो कार नई है या पत्नी।Read Details

एक आदमी ने 100 बार

एक आदमी ने 100 बार रक्तदान करने का रिकॉर्ड बनाया।
ब्लड बैंक वालों ने उसकी पत्नी का सम्मान यह कहकर किया कि ...
 ...आपने नहीं पीया तभी तो हमने लिया।Read Details

पत्नी (पति से)- मेरी तरफ

पत्नी (पति से)- मेरी तरफ मुंह करके सो जाओ ना, मुझे डर लग रहा है।
पति (पत्नी से)- अच्छा और मैं भले ही डर के मारे मर जाऊं।Read Details

एक कार की नीलामी हो

एक कार की नीलामी हो रही थी।
एक लाख, दो लाख, तीन लाख..
शर्मा जी सुनकर चौंक गए और बोले- आखिर इस खटारे में ऐसा क्या है? जो सब इतने दाम लगा रहे हैं?
कार विके्रता- इसके 10 एक्सीडेंट हो चुके हैं हर बार सिर्फ पत्नी ही मरती है, पति बिल्कुल सही सलामत रहता है।Read Details

Hsbnd-Raja Dasrath ki 3 Raniya

Hsbnd-Raja Dasrath ki 3 Raniya thi
Wife-To kya hua?
Hsbnd-To mai 2shaadiya aur kar sakta hu
Wife-Draupdi ka nam suna hai
Hsbnd-Tu bhi na pagli dil pe le leti haiRead Details

शादी से पहले एक आदमी

शादी से पहले एक आदमी - सुपरमैन होता हैं. 
शादी के बाद - जेंटलमैन होता हैं.
5 साल बाद - वाचमैन होता हैं. 
10 साल बाद - अपने ही जाल में फसा हुआ स्पाइडरमैन होता हैं.Read Details

पत्नी : अगर मैं खो

पत्नी : अगर मैं खो गयी तो तुम क्या करोगे?
पति : मैं टीवी और अख़बार में विज्ञापन दूंगा की जहा कहीं भी हो..... खुश रहोRead Details

पत्नी :1 बात बोलू पर

पत्नी :1 बात बोलू पर मुझे मारना नहीं.
पति : बोलो
पत्नी : मैं पेट से हूँ.
पति : ये तो अच्छी खभर हैं, तुम इतना डर क्यों रही हो 
पत्नी : शादी के पहले पापा को बताया था, बड़ी मार पड़ी थी.Read Details

पहला आदमी: नारी का क्या

पहला आदमी: नारी का क्या मतलब होता है?
दूसरा: नारी का मतलब है शक्ति

पहला:तो फिर पुरुष का मतलब क्या होता है?
दूसरा:पुरुष का मतलब सहन शक्ति।Read Details

What's the similarity between sun

What's the similarity between sun and wife?
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Yehi k dono ki taraf ANKH utha k nahi dekh sakteRead Details

बीमार IT profesional से उसकी

बीमार IT profesional से उसकी बीवी बोली-इस बार जानवरो के डॉक्टर को दिखाओ 
पति-क्यों? 
बीवी-रोज़ सुबह मुर्गे की तरह जल्दी उठ जाते हो.घोड़े की तरह भाग के ऑफीस जाते हो.गधे की तरह दिनभर काम करते हो.लोमड़ी की तरह इधर-उधर से इन्फर्मेशन बटोरकर रिपोर्ट बनाते हो.बंदर की तरह बॉस के इशारे पे नाचते हो.घर आके कुत्ते की तरह भोंकटे हो, और फिर भैंस की तरह सो जाते हो. इंसानो का डॉक्टर तुम्हे क्या ठीक कर पाएगा.Read Details

Wife saw sign board a) Banarsi

Wife saw sign board

a) Banarsi saree Rs.10
a) Nylon 8/-
a) otton 5/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500 wI'll buy 50 sarees
Husbnd- soordas ki amma, istri ki dukan he.Read Details