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|Jokes >> Husband Wife
Husband : I'm not getting sleep
Wife: Let go and then clean dishes
This is Speaking of sleep ... silly
Ramesh :::::::: sir! ---- My wife is missing !!!
This is the post office, not the police station ::::
Ramesh :::::::: Oh Sorry!
- Fuckin 'do not understand where to go in this killing spree
Love your husband
when he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen your non stop talks.....
if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.
if he criticise your cooking ...
he is still improving his taste.....:
if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you
if he forgets to give you a gift on your birthday
he is saving money for your future.
Love him ...
Because you don't have a choice and
killing is a legal offence
Fwd to all wives so they continue to love their husbands
Wife wanted to go to her Her parents house...
Husband booked her tickets via Malaysian airlines...
...One time investment.
Newly married husband
puts a notice in front of his residence:
FOR SALER "Computer and Encyclopedia" both in good condition.
Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows EVERYTHING
...with backup server called "Mother In Law "
Ek wife ki bade shaher me
interview ke baad
naukari lag gai,
usne socha 'apne pati ko SMS
taaki unhe chinta na ho, .
Par Usne Galati se galat no. Par
Jisko ye MSG mila wo apni patni
ka antim sanskaar
kar ke laut raha thaa,
SMS padh te hi wo behosh ho
MSG kuch is tarah ka thaa
.'mai sahi salamat pahuch gai hu,
bi achhi suvidhaa hai,
aap chinta mat karna 1 - 2 din
me aap ko bi bula lungi...'
Man comes to sleep after watching WorldCupFinal; at 3:30 am.
Wife - koun jeeta.?
Husband - Germany.
Wife - mujhe to pehle hi pata tha..India nahi jeetegi !!
Football 2014 Jokes
Hubby-Jab main tumhe marta hu tb tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho?
Wife-Toilet saf krke
W-Me toilet apki toothbrush se saf krti hu
Wife - Meri age 58 saal hote huve bhi aapka ek dost mere husn ki taarif karta hai....
Pati ... Usmaanbahi Hoga
Wife - Aapne Kaise Pahchana!!!
Pati - Wo Scrap Dealer hai....
Wife: Meri sharafat dekho...
Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli...
Husband: Aur meri sharafat dekho...
Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya..
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence) - Daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha..
Yesterday night in an argument with my wife she said
Look you Coward , do u remember first time you came to my residence with 200 +people and I went alone with you
And myself as usual SPEECHLESS
One who loves us with closed eye known as - "Lover"
One who loves us upto close the eye known as - "Mother" and
One who loves with shows Eyes is known as - "Wife"
On wedding night,
Husband - Ghar mein sabse pyar se rehna, sabki respect karna, unka Vishwas jeetna, unki care karna, hamesha sach bolna...
Wife(room ka darwaza khol kar) - Sab andar aajao, yahan satsang chal raha hai.. suhag raat mein Praannath ki jagah aloknath aa Gaye hai
बीवी ने बड़े प्यार से पति के गले में बाहें डाली और पूछा, कैसी लग रही हूं जी?
पति: जैसे भगवान शंकर के गले में नागिन लिपटी हो।
Husband bought new car and thought of giving surprise to wife....
He called his wife as he enters the house,
Darling, Your dream has came ture after many years...
Wife came running...
Hi Hi Hi
What happen to Mummji!!!
How to keep wife happy . . . .
It's really not difficult to make a wife happy. A husband only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a man
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a charmer
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a bug exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. Very clean
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments frequently
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Never stress her
50. Never look at other women!
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space
54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * her favorite color * her favorite flower * her favorite gem * her favorite fragrance * her favorite memories * her favorite holidays * her favorite friends * her favorite vacation destinations * her favorite beverage * her favorite food * her favorite restaurant * any arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE HUSBAND HAPPY
Just leave him alone.....with his TV remote...and beer .....And he'll be just fine...:
Dedicated to all ......
Men are always boring Creatures WHY?
1-Their last name stays with them forever,
2-Phone conversations last just for 30 secs flat,
3-A five day vacation requires only one jeans,
4-If someone forgets to invite them, he can still be their friend after a drink,
5-The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades,
6-They can do shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes without even even knowing whether they really need it
7-They dont freak out when they go to a party n see another man wearing the same shirt, instead they become buddies as poor guys don't have much choices.
6. They always feel Friends' wives are better than their's. Pass this to all men who think great of themselves and To women who'll enjoy reading it
After 15 years of marriage, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK.
"What does that mean?" she asked.
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied.
Smiling, she asked: What about IJK?
He replied: I'm Just Kidding!
HUSBAND SENT AN SMS TO WIFE:
Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever I am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming in my life and making it worth living.
SHE REPLIED :Pee li na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao..
KUCHH NAHI BOLUNGI..! !
Husband: Thank you. chal darwaza khol de neechae gate par khada hoon addhae ghante se.
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