Marriage jokes Wishes And Messages, Marriage jokes WhatsApp Picture Sticker

Oxymoron is defined as a phrase

One interesting word in English. 

Oxymoron: 
An Oxymoron is defined as a phrase in which two words of opposite meanings are brought together....

Here are some funny oxymorons :

 1)  Clearly Misunderstood
 2)  Exact Estimate
 3)  Small Crowd
 4)  Act Naturally
 5)  Found Missing
 6)  Fully Empty
 7)  Pretty Ugly
 8)  Seriously Funny
 9)  Only Choice
10)  Original Copies

And people say the Mother of all Oxymorons is-

11) "Happily Married"

Husband : (calls up Hotel

Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from room) Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife & she says she will jump from your hotel window.

Manager : Sir, I am sorry, but this is your personal Issue.

Husband : Abey Saale ! The window is not opening. This is a maintenance issue ..

At a wedding reception the

At a wedding reception the D.J. Announced.....
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living after marriage?"
The Bartender was almost crushed to death.

A man went to the

A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date ..
Office was closed 
and he read the following Notice outside the office ...
"Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... you may use this time to think again"

Marriage: A Journey From Scotch To Scotch Brite

Marriage:

A
Journey
From
Scotch
To
Scotch Brite

SHADI (Marriage Jokes) S : Setting

SHADI (Marriage Jokes)

S : Setting Close
H: Himmat End
A: Azadi End
D: Dimage Kharaab
I: Imtihan Start


Jinki Ho gayi Bhog lo,
Jnki Nahi huyi wo schol lo

After the wedding the incident

After the wedding the incident to assure that such expenses;
After which you have to believe that hostels were as good at lying unexplored ----

Husband: Tumhre Shadi se pehle

Husband: Tumhre Shadi se pehle kitne boyfrnd the?.
silent!
Husbend chilla k: Main is khamoshi ko kyA smjhu?.
Wife: Haye rabba....Gin to rhi hoon chilla kyu rhe ho...

DARPOK Hai Wo log jo,single

DARPOK Hai Wo log jo,single hain..,Shaadi nahi Karte...Saala JIGAR chahiye, BARBAAD Hone Ke Liye....

This year's election is a

This year's election is a bachelor's party! 

Narendra Modi,
Rahul Gandhi, 
Mamata Bannerji,
Jayalalita,
Mayavati & 
Anna Hazare.

desh ka bhavishya sirf kuvara vyakti hi badal sakta hai kyu ki...

...shaadishuda to saala TV ka channel bhi apani marji se nahi badal sakta...

The Most Famous Adventure Sport

The Most Famous Adventure Sport of India R33;R33;ARRANGE MARRIAGE :373;:377;=))

शेरों के यहाँ शादी थी। तगड़ा

शेरों के यहाँ शादी थी।

तगड़ा वाला डांस चल रहा था, डांस में एक कुत्ता भी मस्त होकर नाच रहा था।

अचानक एक शेर की निगाह उस पर पड़ी तो उसने पूछा: 'कि तुम शेरों की शादी में कैसे'?

कुत्ता नाचते हुए बोला: भाई, 
शादी से पहले हम भी शेर हुआ करते थे!

माता पिता अपनी बिटिया के

माता पिता अपनी बिटिया के लिए सुयोग्य वर खोजते समय दो बातों का ख्याल रखते हैं ...

एक तो लड़का खाते पीते घर का हो..... 
.
.
.
दूसरे .........वो खाता पीता न हो ....

.
.
.
भला ये क्या बात हुई .

Boy ask a Girl: Vidai

Boy ask a Girl: Vidai ke time ladki kyu roti hai..??-
Girl: Agar tujhe pata chale ki ghar se dur le ja ke koi tujhe bartan manjvayega to tu kya nachega

3 Important Stages Of Life... Before

3 Important Stages Of Life...
Before Marriage MAD For Each Other, During Marriage MADE For Other,
After Marriage MAD Because Of Each Other...

Defintion Of Arrange-Marriage: "Bika Hua MaaL

Defintion Of Arrange-Marriage:

"Bika Hua MaaL Wapis Nahi Hoga" .

.

.

.

.

.

&

.

.

.

.

Defintion Of Love-Marriage:-

"PehLe IstemaL Kre fir Vishwas Kre.!"

You cheat God thousand of

You cheat God thousand of times. 

But God is so kind, 
He doesn't punish you every time ... ? 

He just gets you MARRIED once.

Arrange marriage is such a

Arrange marriage is such a funny concept......
All ur life u r taught Not to speak strangers.... 
But suddenly u r asked to sleep with one !!!:D =D =)) >=) !!

1 Boy ki engagement 1

1 Boy ki engagement 1 boht Khubsurat Ladki se hui.

Wo Ladka us ladki se kabhi nahi mila tha.

Na kabhi us se baat hui thi Bas sab logo se uski khubsurti ki tareef hi suni thi.

Shaadi k baad ladka us ka ghoonghat utha kr bola

Tum wakai bohut khubsurat ho, Tumhe kya gift karoo

Ladki sharmati hui boli "Do aap taa Dill Taley"

MORAL:- Kam se kam ek call toh kar leni chahiye thi

How BEDROOM Smells After MARRIAGE: 1st

How BEDROOM Smells After MARRIAGE:

1st 3 years ------Perfumes, Flowers,Chocolate, Strawberry, Grapes. ..

After 3 YRS-------Baby Powder, Johnsons Cream & Lotions, Baby oils

After 15YRS-------ZanduBalm, Vicks, Iodex, Relispray.

After 40 YRS------- Agarbatti

kal suna- ye zin ( bottle

kal suna-
ye zin ( bottle wala) aadami ko hi milata hai,mahila ko kyo nahi. ? unhe bhi kahe koi hukm mere aakaa
doosara bola- mahila ko shaadi mein pati mila hai na bhai.

1 admi shadi ke liye

1 admi shadi ke liye marriage bureau gaya
Office band tha aur bahar notice laga hua tha:-
"1 baje se 3 baje tak office band rahega... 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
TAB TAK AAP PHIR SOCH LEIN"

Lalu: Kanoon ek aadmi ko

Lalu: Kanoon ek aadmi ko dusri aurat se shaadi ki izaazar kyo nahi deta.
Kalu: Kyonki kanun apko ek hi apraadh ke liye do baar saja nahi de sakta.

2 baccho ki maa tisri

2 baccho ki maa tisri baar shadi kar rahi thi..
Fero ke waqt chhota bacha rone laga,

To..
Maa boli:
.
.
.
.
.Chup ho ja, Warna agli bar nahi laaungi!

By all means, marry. If

By all means, marry. 

If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

A Boy Thought Of Suicide

A Boy Thought Of Suicide He Drank Poison ,But His Father Saved Him He Hanged, But His Mother Saved Him
......
He Met With An Accident , Doctor Saved Him He Jumped Into A Well, Gardener Saved Him
.
.
.
.
. .
.
At Last He Got Married, N Now No One Could Save Him

Hi i am marrying next

Hi i am marrying next week.
There will b a small party n only a few people will b invited
Dont bring any gift
Just bring some1 2 marry me.

मतदान करने के लिए उम्र

मतदान करने के लिए उम्र 18 साल, और शादी के लिए 21 साल... ऐसा क्यू?
क्यू की, सरकार जानती है, की
बीवी संभालना, वो मुल्क सँभालने से ज्यादा मुश्किल है...!

1 Aadmi medical shop pe-Zeher

1 Aadmi medical shop pe-Zeher do
Dukandar-bina Parchi ke nahi mil sakta
Aadmi ne Shadi ka Card dikhaya
Dukandar-bas Pagle rulayega kya,Badi bottle du ya Chhoti.

Anmol wachan- 1baat hamesha yaad rakhna.. . Ye

Anmol wachan-
1baat hamesha yaad rakhna..
.
Ye sach h ki
Jodiyan aasman se banti hai..
.
.
PAR BETA 
"SETTING ZAMEEN PAR KHUD
KARNI PADTI HAI..!!"
:-)

1 ladke ki shadi nahi

1 ladke ki shadi nahi ho rahi thi. 
Wo mannat mangne gaya,
waha uski maa kho gayi, 
wo bola ya khuda dekhi teri khudai, 
apni to mili nahi Bapu ki bhi gawai..

Nepali- Uuu Shaabji ye Shyam

Nepali- Uuu Shaabji ye Shyam Singh ka mobile kaha milega?
Salesman- pta nhi
Nepali- Address to isi dukan ka hai
Salesman- sale ye Shyam Singh nhi, SAMSUNG.

American Lifestyle: Daughter:"sorry dad, i

American Lifestyle: Daughter:"sorry dad, i got married yesterday, i 4got 2 inform u". 
Dad: "its ok my child,but don't 4get 2 invite me next time".;-);-);-)

Why Government do NOT allow a

Why Government do NOT allow
a Man to MARRY two Women's.,
Because as per Constitution,
you can
NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same
MISTAKE....!! "

Larkay Waley Larki Dekhne Gaye:

Larkay Waley Larki Dekhne Gaye: 
Larkay Ne Larki Se Pucha: Aapko KHANA BANANA Aata Hai? 
Larki: Nahi Mujhe To BANANA KHANA Aata Hai

Things in Boys Room before

Things in Boys Room before marriage -

Perfums,
Love Letters,
Gifts,
Laptops,
Nokia N97


After Mariage -

Pain killers,
Loan papers,
Unpaid Bills,
Nokia1100, 
Zandu Baam

सवाल : कानून दूसरा विवाह

सवाल : कानून दूसरा विवाह करने की अनुमति क्यों नहीं देता?
जवाब : क्योंकि कानून के मुताबिक किसी व्यक्ति को एक ही गुनाह के लिए दो बार सजा नहीं दी जा सकती।

एक कंडक्टर की शादी हो

एक कंडक्टर की शादी हो रही थी।
मेहमान ख़ुशी-ख़ुशी दोनों पर पुष्प वर्षा कर रहे थे।
जब दुल्हन फेरों के समय उसके पास आकर बैठी, तो वह बोला: थोड़ा पास होकर बैठो, एक सवारी और बैठ सकती है

Funny Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile

Funny Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai:

"Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."

Desi Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?

Funny Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..!

लव मैरिज और अरेंज मैरिज

लव मैरिज और अरेंज मैरिज में क्या फर्क होता है?
लव मैरिज में आप गर्लफ्रेंड से शादी करते हैं, जबकि अरेंज मैरिज में आप किसी और की गर्लफ्रेंड से शादी करते हैं।

ऑफिस का योगदानः शादीशुदा व्यक्ति

ऑफिस का योगदानः शादीशुदा व्यक्ति की जिदंगी में ऑफिस का सबसे महत्वपूर्ण योगदान है,
पुरूषों को यहां आकर बीवी बच्चों की चिल्लपों से मुक्ति मिलती है, 
वहीं महिलाओं को सास की चीख-चिल्लाहट से।

Angrez-Hamare yahan 80% shaadiyan e-mail se hoti

Angrez-Hamare yahan
80% shaadiyan
e-mail se hoti hain
Bunty- Kamaal hai!
hamare yahan
100% shaadiyan 
female se hoti hain

MARRIAGE LICENCE Naresh: 'Why are

MARRIAGE LICENCE 
Naresh: 'Why are you going to the marriage bureau? You are already married.'
Ramesh: 'I want to check up when my marriage licence expires.'

LIFELONG PAYMENT A little boy

LIFELONG PAYMENT 

A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'

MARRIAGE...!!? 1. Wedding is destiny, and

MARRIAGE...!!?

1. Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
2. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
3. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
4. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
5. Don't marry a girl who says that she has already been asked to marry helf-a-dozen time. Five times she has been asked by her mother and father.

HARD TO PLEASE When Balwant Kaur

HARD TO PLEASE

When Balwant Kaur disapproved the girl her son wanted to marry, a friend told the young man, 'You must find a girl who is like your mother.' 

Several months later, the young man told his friend, 'I finally found a girl who looks, talks, and acts just like my mother.'

'Congratulations!' said his friend. 

'Not yet', said the young man and added, 'this time my father objected!'

Ek conductor ki shadi ho

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi,
jab Dulhan phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola 
thoda pas ho k baith,
 ek sawari or baith sakti hai.

लड़का वालों को लड़की पसंद

लड़का वालों को लड़की पसंद आ गई और उन्होंने लड़की वालों से कहा कि शादी कब करनी है ?
इस पर लड़की वालों ने कहा कि अभी हमारी लड़की पढ़ रही है , पढ़ाई के बाद शादी होगी।
लड़के वालों ने गुस्से में कहा कि हमारा लड़का क्या बंदर है , जो किताबें फाड़ देगा

Different Phases of a man:

Different Phases of a man: 
After engagement: Superman 
After Marriage: Gentleman 
After 10 years: Watchman 
After 20 years: Doberman

एक आदमी गाँवमे शादीके लिए

एक आदमी गाँवमे शादीके लिए लडकी देखेने गया बात करते करते लडके ने पुछा : बहन जि आप लोग कितने भाई बहेन है बहन शब्द सुनकर लड़की को शर्म लगी और बोली : अभी तक तो 2 थे अव आप मिलाकर 3 हो गए

The Equation : 7 Glance =

The Equation :

7 Glance = 1 Smile

7 Smile = 1 Meeting

7 Meeting = 1 Kiss

7 Kisses = 1 Proposal

7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -

And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.

So beware of glance!