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Doctr : i am sorry. Opration k waqt Rubber k Gloves aapke pet me reh gaye.
dobara opration karna hoga.
Santa : abey, pagal he kya? ye le 20 rupaye naya le le...



This "Santa ji is The Ultimate!

Sardar ji Bank me paise jama karane gaya.
Cashier- Tumhare Note nakli hai.
Sardar- Tujhe kya farak padata hai?

Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!!


Teacher: Your son has failed See his report.
Eng-20
Math-15
Hindi-18
Phy-13
Chem-15
SSt. - 17
Total-98

Santa:Total mein toh kamaal hi kar diya hai..Is Subject ka Teachar kaun hai !

SANTA- maine Pichle 20 Saalo Me 1 Baat Note Ki Hai !!
Banta: Wo Kya? Santa: Saala Jab Bhi Faatak Band Hote Hai Tab Train Jaroor Aati Hai.

Santa- tumne itne chhote-Chhote baal Q katwaye?
Banta- naai ke paas 3 rupye khulle nahin the, to main bola 3 rupay ke aur kaat de.....

SANTA- Aaj kal zyada bachche judwa kyo paida hote hai?
BANTA-Desh me itna AATANKWAAD badh gaya hai ke bachche akele aane se darte hai.

Santa student: Miss, kya aap mujhe raat ko call kar rahi thi??
Teacher: Nahi toh... Santa: Kamaal hai, subah mere mobile pe likha tha... . . . . MISS CALL..

Cute Sardars !!
SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA.
BOY: OH! PAAJI GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO?
SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI..MERI TO SISTER HAI.
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Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya: Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi. Sardar: Lo Batao, Kitni Lambi Umar Hai.
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Sardar Ki Ma Ki Death Ho Gai. Ek Saal Bad Sardar Ka Baap America Se Wapis Aya.
Us Ne Pucha Teri Ma Kahan Hai.. .
Sardar Bola Woh To Pichlay Saal Hi Mar Gai Thi.. .
Sardar Ka Baap Rone Laga Or Bola Kuttay,
Kaminay.. Toh Tune Mujhay Btaya Q Nhi?
Sardar Bola-Me Ne Socha Surprise DunGa...

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Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says 'Hi, Main bol Raha Hoon'.
The other sardar replies 'Oye Kamaal Hai Yaar, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!'

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SARDAR and HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO.... DRIVER ADJUSTED MIRROR..
SARDARJI SHOUTED U R SEEING MY WIFE...
GO and SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE THE AUTO.

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Hospital me Nurse: Mubarak ho apke Ghar beta paida hua he!
Sardar: Wahe Guru! Kya Technology hai.
Biwi yaha hospital me he aur beta ghar me paida hua hai.
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1 bed pe 3 sardar so rahe the. Teeno ko jagah kam pad rahi thi.
Ek sardar uth ke niche chala gaya. Toh dono sardar chillae
Vapas uper aaja ab jagah ho gai hai.

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Waiter: Your Bill Sir!
Santa : Take My Card...
Waiter : But Sir, yeh toh aapki shaadi ka card hai!

Santa : To Phir Baahar Kya Mazaak Me Likha Hai ? "ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”
_____________________________________________________________
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Police : *Knock knock*

Santa : kaun hai ?
Police : Police.. Darwaza kholo.. kuch baat karni hai..

Santa : tum log kitne ho?

Police : 3

Santa : Toh saalo, apasmein baat karlo na
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Two tailors having a chat .
1st tailor "santa is the best customer.


Always happy with their suit fittings."
2nd tailor "And How is that so?"
1st Tailor "They come, try on the suit ,go to the mirror,
Look in the mirror,
Check the turban (pagg)
Not the suit.
Press the Beard (dari).
Check Pagg once again.
&
"OK HAI".
BILL KINA ????
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joke of the day.............


Santa langar ki line mein laga :- 4 parshaade (ROTI) de do.

Sewadaar :- Santa ji sabji v lai lo

Santa :- nahi nahi bas roti leni hai, ghar meat banaya hai
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Santa wanted to become a great scientist like Newton.

After long research, he wrote the 4th law of motion

"Loose motion can never be done in slow motion".
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Two seater helicopter Punjab mai Santa ke gaon me gira.

Gaon ke sare Santa family rahat kaam me jut gayi aur 600 dead bodies bahar nikaal laye.

Sala samjh nahi aay aisa konsa helicopter tha jisme 600 log sawar the.

Baad me pata chala Helicopter Qabristan me gira tha.:


Bolo tara ra ra
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When I drink alcohol Everyone calls me alcoholic,
But when I drink Fanta ,No one says - I am Fantastic..........
saale sab jalte hai.
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Santa's e-banking password was:"ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal"

Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?

Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character aur 1 capital hona chahie....

Banta: wo sab thik hai, par Kejri uncle kyun ??

Santa: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai....
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Santa in Hotel- Mai Yaha Nahi Rahunga, Mere Paise Wapis Karo !
Itna Chota Room... Mujhe Jaanwar Samjha Hai kya ?

Waiter-Mere baap Room Mein Chal Yeh Lift hai.
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Santa ko uska Sasur joote mar raha tha…
Ek Aadmi: Kyun maar rahe ho is ko…???
Sasur: Maine isko hospital se whatsapp kiya ki ‘Tum Baap Ban Gye Ho…

...Saale ne usko bhi doston ko forward kar diya…
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Shaadi mein Santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...
kisi ne pucha kab tak khaoge?
Sardar- Mai toh khud pareshan hoon .....
par card me likha hai, "Dinner 7-12pm"
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संता ट्रैफिक पुलिस के इंटरव्यू के लिए गया।

इंटरव्यूअर: एक आदमी गधे की सवारी करता हुआ रोड से जा रहा है और उसने हेलमेट नहीं पहना है तो क्या आप उसे दण्डित करेंगे?

संता: नहीं।

इंटरव्यूअर: क्यों?

संता: क्योंकि हेलमेट 2 व्हीलर के लिए जरूरी है, 4 व्हीलर के लिए नही।
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एक सुपर स्टोर के सेल्समैन की एक बड़े ग्राहक से कुछ कहा सुनी हो गयी।

जब स्टोर के मालिक को पता चला तो उसने सेल्समैन को खूब डाटा और कहा की तुम्हें पता नहीं है कि संता जी हमारे कितने पुराने व् बड़े ग्राहक है।

तुमने उनके साथ बदतमीजी की, चलो माफी मांगो।

सेल्समैन ने फोन मिलाया, हेल्लो, संता जी बोल रहे हैं?

संता: हा मैं संता बोल रहा हूँ।

सेलसमैन: मैं सुपर स्टोर का सेल्समैन बोल रहा हूँ।

संता: बोलो, क्या बात है?

सेल्समैन: कल मैंने आपसे कहा था कि भाड़ में जाओ।

संता: हाँ, तो?

सेल्समैन: अब वहां मत जाना।
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Girl-Aajtak Tumne Kiss Nhi Kiya,Kiss Karona
Santa-Nhi
Girl-Q Nahi?
Santa-Baoji ne Kaha He Aurato K Muh Nhi Lagana Chahiye
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Banta - Gajni mai amir ne itni solid body kaise banaye hogi?

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Santa : jab wo gym se wapas aata tha
to 15 mint k baad bhul jata tha ki gym gya tha

aur phir waps gym chala jata tha...

Aise karte karte body ban gayi...!
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Santa student: Miss, kya aap mujhe raat ko call
kar rahi thi??
Teacher: Nahi toh...
Santa: Kamaal hai, subah mere mobile pe likha
tha...
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.
.
MISS CALL..
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Santa 2 Banta-: Tujhe To Cancer H Na..fir Sbko Aids Kyu Bta rha H Sale..?
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Banta-: Taki Mere Mrne K Bad Koi Meri Biwi Se Ishq Na Lda Ske..
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Santa Ko Vodafone Mein Operator Ki Job Mil Gayi.
.
Magar Pehle Din hi bahut maar padi aur nikaal diya gya...
.
BeCause
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First Caller: Mera Vodafone Ka Sim
Kharab Ho Gaya Hai!
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Santa:- To Pagal Airtel Ka Le Le
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एक बार संता डॉक्टर के पास गया और बोला, " डॉक्टर साहब मैं अपने बढ़ते वज़न से बहुत परेशान हूँ इसकी वजह से आज कल मेरी तबियत भी कुछ ठीक नहीं रहती।

डॉक्टर: स्वस्थ रहने के लिए आप रोज या तो व्यायाम किया कीजिये या फिर कोई खेल खेला कीजिये।

संता: डॉक्टर साहब मैं रोज फुटबॉल, क्रिकेट और टेनिस खेलता हूं।

डॉक्टर आश्चर्य से, "अच्छा! तुम रोज कितनी देर खेलते हो।

संता: जब तक मोबाइल की बैटरी खत्म नही हो जाती।
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Teacher : sabse jyada 'izzat' kiske paas hai ?

Bachha : sir ! Prem chopra, shakti kapoor aur ranjeet ke pass !

Teacher : kaise ?

Bachha : sir ! Sabse jyada izzat inhi logon ne loot rakhi hai
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