Santa Banta sms Wishes And Messages, Santa Banta sms WhatsApp Picture Sticker

नेट बैंकिंग के लिए संता

नेट बैंकिंग के लिए संता ने पासवर्ड बनाया
राम-सीता-लक्ष्मण-हनुमान- दिल्ली-स्पाइडरमैन
बंता- यार इतना लंबा पासवर्ड क्यों बनाया!
संता - यार बैंक वाले कहते हैं कि पासवर्ड में 5 कैरेक्टर 1 कैपिटल और 1 स्पेशल कैरेक्टर होना चाहिए!Read Details

संता सबसे बड़ा चैलेंज

संता  सबसे बड़ा चैलेंज क्या है ?

बंता  परीक्षा की कॉपी में कुछ न लिखना और अंत में लिख देना कि मां का दूध पिया है तो पास करके दिखा Read Details

Sante ek sadhu se mila. Sadhu:Kuchh

Sante ek sadhu se mila.
Sadhu:Kuchh daan karo bachcha.
Santa ne 50 Rs. de dia
SADHU Khush ho ke:Mang beta, kya chahiye?
Santa:Baba, mere 50 Rs wapas dedoRead Details

Santa:computer kharidne gaya salseman ne

Santa:computer kharidne gaya 
salseman ne tarifo ka pul bandhte hue kaha yeh computer aapka 50% kam akele hi kar dega 
santa: phir to mai do kharid lungaRead Details

संता :- शर्ट के लिए

संता :- शर्ट के लिए कपडा़ दिखाईये.... 
सेल्समेन :- सर....प्लेन में दिखाऊं ? 
संता :- नहीं, हेलीकॉप्टर में दिखा हरामखोर... बंदर की औलाद.... संता दिखा नही कि मज़ाक शुरू...Read Details

Santa to Taxi Driver Vinayak

Santa to Taxi Driver Vinayak 
mandir jaoge kya?
Taxi Driver haa sahab!
Santa- Theek hai 
wapas aate waqt mere liye
prasad le aana!Read Details

Banta ko santa ka 1

Banta ko santa ka 1 blank msg aaya,
Fir usne vapis santa phone kiya aur bola,
Oye yaar tenu malum hai tere mobile ki ink khatam hogayi,
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Santa Pahli Baar Village mein

Santa Pahli Baar Village mein gaya,

Base se utarte hi, mitti haath mein uthakar bola

Gav ki mitti ki khusboo hi alag hoti.

Banta bola: Bhai theek se dekh, ye mitti nahi tatti haiRead Details

Santa: Mere Pitaji Ye tay

Santa: Mere Pitaji Ye tay nahi kar paa rahe hai ki Gaay Kharidna theek hoga Ya Motorcyle?

Banta: mere hisab se motorcyle kharidna theek hoga, kyonki gaay par savari karte ve bade bevkoof lagenge.

Sana: Baat tau tumhari theek hai, lekin motor cycle se doodh duhate bhi ve aur bhi bade bevkoof lagengeRead Details

संता - डॉक्टर साहब मेरे

संता - डॉक्टर साहब मेरे को प्लास्टिक सर्जरी करवानी है! कितना खर्चा आयेगा?
डॉक्टर - दस लाख रूपये
संता - और अगर प्लास्टिक हम दे तो?Read Details

Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek

Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!Read Details

Santa, Banta & Bobby were

Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?
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Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai? Pappu:

Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne Saleya ne Pher cut ti.
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The math teacher saw that

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"
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Banta: Life ko kaun zyada

Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!
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Teacher: Asman me udne wali

Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he?
Santa: AirhostessRead Details

Banta: What's the similarity between

Banta: What's the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.
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Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai,

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
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Amli: Doctar ji tuhanu tankay

Amli: Doctar ji tuhanu tankay lagonay aunde hun?
Dr: Haan ji, daso kithay lagonay ne?
Amli: Aa lo ji chapal te la do...!
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Santa bought a car on

Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
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Santa: Rab j tu mainu

Santa: Rab j tu mainu 100 rs deve ta 50 main Guru Ghar devanga. Thodi dur ja k usnu 50 rs lab gaye.
Santa: Wah rabba ena v Bhrosa ni, apne pehle hi kat laye...
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Banta k ghar ladka hua,

Banta k ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?? Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato k baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...! 
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Bante de ghar buddi mar

Bante de ghar buddi mar gayi. Saare kehan lagge: Bebe mainu lai jaandi! Mainu lai jaandi!
Banta vichon uthh ke kehenda: Saaleo! Bebe ne SUMO kiti hoi si ki?
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Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari

Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo. 
Banta utha or khud nachne laga.. Gud Night.
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Inspector to Banta: Faansi se

Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..!
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Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !
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Teacher askd Santa: What is

Teacher askd Santa: What is d meaning of TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA?
Santa: Tu so ja maa, main Jyoti de ghar ho k aya.
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Postman: I have to come

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
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Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.
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An Englishman and Banta inside

An Englishman and Banta inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Banta: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

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Dr: Yeh urine sample nahi,

Dr: Yeh urine sample nahi, Apple juice hai!
Santa's wife: Ek phone kar loon? !
Dr: Why? !
Wife: Santaji ko batana hai k urine bottle unke tiffin me chali gayi.
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What a rip-off! Santa picked

What a rip-off! Santa picked up a book called 37 Mating Positions. He goes home, opens it... and it turns out to be a book on chess!
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Why did Santa sleep with

Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept.
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Why did Santa sleep with

Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept.
Read Details

Banta to his servant: Go

Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go. 
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Santa: How's Ur Sex Life? Bangta:

Santa: How's Ur Sex Life?
Bangta: As ususal great, Monday to Friday.
Santa: What about the weekends?
Banta: Weekends? Oh! that time I'm at home, relaxing with my wife.
Read Details

Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi

Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha 
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Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho. Santa:

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata. 
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Interviewer: What is skeleton? Santa: Skeleton

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
Read Details

Santa sent SMS to his

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.
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Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein

Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the marketRead Details

Santa ki chatri me hole

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
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Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hoon!
Read Details

Interviewer: What is skeleton? Santa: Skeleton

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
Read Details

Doctor asks Santa to give

Doctor asks Santa to give urine sample, stool & sperm sample for his yearly checkup.
Santa: Im in a hurry doc, can I leave my underwearRead Details

2 Hijade ek shaadi ki

2 Hijade ek shaadi ki badhai dene gaye.
Haye haye main to 1100 lungi. 
Dusri Boli main to 2100 lungi. 
Peeche se Santa bola Abey 2310 le lo usme FM bhi hai!!!
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Santa: I got married because

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
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Santa found the answer to

Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever: What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
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Santa standing on the scale,

Santa standing on the scale, holding his stomach in.
Jeeto: I don't think that is going to help.
Santa: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?
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Teacher: what do u call

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Read Details

Pappu: Dad, what is an

Pappu: Dad, what is an idiot?
Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Pappu: No.
Read Details

Banta: Wife agar husband ko

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna chahiye?
Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.
Read Details

Santa had a dream in

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...
 
 

Read Details

Teacher: what do u call

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Read Details

Santa aur Jeeto mein larai

Santa aur Jeeto mein larai ho gayi, Santa ghar se chala gaya.
Santa raat ko phone pay: Khanay mein kia hai?
Jeeto: Zehar.
Husb: Main dair se aaonga, tum kha kar so jana.
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Pappu: Dad, what is an

Pappu: Dad, what is an idiot?
Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Pappu: No.
Read Details

Banta: Wife agar husband ko

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna chahiye?
Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.
Read Details

Jeeto: U know, husband &

Jeeto: U know, husband & wife aren't allowed to be together in heaven!
Santa: Yes, I do.That's why it's called heaven!
Read Details

Postman: I have to come

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
Read Details

संतानी से अपनी सहेली बंतानी

संतानी से अपनी सहेली बंतानी ने कहाः तुम उस युवक से शादी मत करो। एक तो वह अनाथ हैं, दुसरे उसकी एक टांग टेढी भी है। 
बंतानी बोलीः तो क्या हुआ, मुझे किसी अच्छे हैंडसम पति की चाहत भी नही है।
संतानी बोलीः अरे, मैं तुम्हारे लिए नही, उसके लिए कह रही थी। उस बेचारे की जिंदगी में तो पहले से ही समस्याएं हैं। ऐसे में तु उससे शादी करके। 
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संता-बंता एक होटल में खाना

संता-बंता एक होटल में खाना खा रहे थे। संता को मजाक सूझा।
उसने बंता से कहाः यार, तुम मेरी मां बन जाओ और अपने हाथ से मेरी प्लेट में परोसते जाओ।
बंता ने ऐसा ही किया।
खाना खाने के बाद बंसा से बोलाः अब ऐसा करो, तुम मेरे बाप बन जाओ और बिल का पेमेंट कर दो।
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Santa-kal papa kuwe me gir

Santa-kal papa kuwe me gir gaye, bahut chilla rahe the.
Banta-ab kaise he?
Santa-theek hi honge,
subah se kuwen se koi awaaz nahi aaiRead Details

संता का अपनी बीवी से

संता का अपनी बीवी से झगडा हो गया ।
बीवी ने झगडे को टालते हुऐ कहा :मेरे इरादे
बड़े नेक है , आप हजारो मैं एक हैं ।
संता : दिमाग के हम भी डॉन हैं ।
बस इतना बता दो की बाकि के नो सो नन्यांवे कोन है ।Read Details