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एक टूरिस्ट कमर पर रस्सी

एक टूरिस्ट कमर पर रस्सी बांधकर पहाड पर चढने की कोशिश कर रहा था।
तभी उसने गार्ड से पूछाः अगर यह रस्सी बीच में ही टूट गई तो क्या होगा?
टूरिस्टः सर, आप चिंता मत करो, हमारे पास बहुत सारी रस्सियां हैं।

BOARD-ING A BUS Wanting to travel

BOARD-ING A BUS

Wanting to travel to delhi, I went to the Panipat bus stand. I saw a conductor standing near a bus, calling out for passengers for Delhi.
I rushed towards the bus and got in. Later I observed that the signboard of the bus indicated that the bus would go to Sonepat instead of Delhi.
I got down to confirm the correct destination of the bus was going to Delhi, not to Sonepat. I protested that there was a wrong signboard on the bus which was confusing passengers.
Pat came the reply: 'Tere ko board par baith kar jana hai ya bus main baith kar jana hai?' (You want to sit and travel on the signboard or in the bus?)

Two tourists were driving through

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching 
Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's 
name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they 
stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we 
order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please 
pronounce where we are... very slowly?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, 
Kiiiing."